The high of love
Shared by anonymousdiariesofmine
And I was like, why’re you so obsessed with me?
-Mariah Carey, from the song Obsessed
She is highly attention seeking.
She is needy.
She is dependent. Extremely.
She cannot handle it when I block her on phone even for a short while.
She will do anything it takes to make me notice her. Anything.
She takes every bit of me seriously.
She will put up with whatever shit I throw at her, no matter how derogatory or damaging it might be.
No matter how many times I try to make her understand to move on, she will not give up on me.
She loves me to death. And I mean it literally.
She is obsessed with me.
Sometimes distance is the only answer to many problems in life. It helps us to forget someone and move on with our lives.
Seeing that person on a daily basis makes the wound rot even more and doesn’t let it heal.
The society in general doesn’t want people to suicide. For obvious reasons. Its humanity for a person to try and stop another person from committing suicide. But what do you do when that person wants you in exchange for that suicide? How can I compromise and give myself away to someone I hate so much, just because she seems to threaten me with a suicide?
She needs psychiatric help right? That’s what I think too. But she knows how to play her cards well. She is sick with a serious health condition which definitely earns her way too many brownie points. She’s obviously the victim in the eyes of most people. She’s suffering both mentally and physically and needs her best friend next to her at all times for support, whereas her so called best friend (me) who doesn’t give a shit about her desperately tries to stay as out of reach as possible. Look what a bitch she is. Doesn’t have the sympathy to be there for her best friend while she’s going through so much.
But the truth remains the same that I do not want to be there for her. Absolutely not. I have no interest in walking her through the college corridors or skipping my class to take her to the health centre as and when she wants to. She might have spent each day these past 10 months trying to make me take her back as a best friend and love her back, but that ain’t happening. Ever. And even after so many fights if she cannot accept the simple fact that she needs to stop trying and move on instead, well that is definitely not my fault. What she doesn’t realize it that she’s in love with me. Yes, the typical cannot-stop-thinking-about-you kind of love. She may never admit it or see it the way I see it, but I’m sure that its the same love that gives us all butterflies, the love that gives us that peculiar high and makes us do stupid things for the other person. The signs are all there. The worst part is she has no plans on giving up on this love, in spite of the bitch I’ve had to become to shoo her away. She’s only torturing herself emotionally even more.
Knowing your self worth is very very important for a person, I have learned. If you don’t know when to stop submitting yourself.. that can just destroy your identity.
The certain group of one-side lovers can justify all they want on how giving up is not a sign of true love, that one day they will realize their value and come back to them etc. But sometimes it becomes foolish. In the real world not every ending is a happy one. These bunch of morons swimming deep in the pool of love need to get it drilled in their heads that sometimes (most times) its best to move on and let the other person live in peace. They probably don’t give a fuck about you for all you know. In the end what’s the point of it all anyway? That person you’re running behind, they’re probably having the time of their lives with their loved ones. They’ve probably found their “the one” and have no intentions of looking back.
This girl, I don’t know what she wants. She obviously cannot spend the rest of her life with me, and she needs to learn to live without me. See that’s the problem with human mind. Imagine you give an entire cake to a kid and convince him he can have all the cake to himself, and then snatch away the cake just when he’s had two bites and is clearly smitten by its taste. He’s going to feel betrayed. He’ll wail and make a fuss to get back the cake that he built his hopes on. After a point, he’ll eventually give up. But we are adults and we know much better don’t we? Nothing and no one is permanent on this earth. People come and people go. A lot of things change over time and though it pains to let go, we have to learn to. Because at the end of the day, its a lone battle and we are always left to fend for ourselves.
P.S: Funnily this song is my latest interest and was playing in the background the entire time.
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