I need substance

Back To The Sea

Shared by noraroars

The hardest part of viewing the world through your own eyes is finding validation. What is true validation?

What is a beautiful woman if no one told her she was beautiful? But what was it about her that was beautiful? Many would speak of appearance solely, yet in particular it was the way she mouth her name that gave her validation. That was enough for me to call her a woman and beyond that she was beautiful because she know who she is.

A little boy runs across the playground and into the field, someone calls out his name and the little boy just so happens to catch the football. They ask him to throw it back to them and without hesitation he prepped his stance, with a strong steady back he swung his arm and the ball flung out his hand with the perfect spiral. Sport’s teacher is amazed, says “You might be the best thing to happen to football son.” The little boy didn’t know what that would mean to him, but he smiled with agreement.

Validation comes in forms of an authority figure, family members, friends and even the person we have presumed valid for the position we call love. When will come the day where your own validation is the only one you see fit? When will you know that is it right without offending?

I use to be a part of the following, the hype and the number on the screen. Now more than ever I just want people to listen and read more. I don’t want people to just accept me, I want to allow someone to tell me I’m wrong and be able to back it up with asking for growth. In the darkest, deepest realm of my mind, I’m a hippie with flowers draped over her head, bare naked and broken is all part of the healing process. I want to dream in colors, dress in black and be unafraid to reach out or to speak.

Every time I post, I filter through the different aspects of dim to light that I wish others can see. But I always forget that we’ve been distracted by the same filters. It’s so hard to break out of my own shell or other shells we’ve put ourselves in. My own filter that I can’t tell what shade I would be exposed in the way I perceive myself to be.

I don’t think I’ve made myself very clear, feeling almost lost then almost found. True validation use to come from my friends and I’ve learned over the years that it wasn’t always the truest forms of friendships out there. My trust has dwindled over people and more distinctly in myself as years have come by where I’ve counted on the people to let me know if food was stuck in my teeth or my crawl out of bed look was more beggar than stylish.

Validation is not social acceptance. It is not common sense or a decency that’s simply provided to you. It’s definitely not self-righteous, “Fuck you, if you’re not on my side” cause that is self-destruction in more ways than others can destroy you.

Validation defined as substantiate translated into substance. “To affirm to having substance” as dictated through the English dictionary. To have substance is to consist of, form, matter, controlled; the subject matter of thought, appearance or shadow; reality. Having a substantial or solid character or quality; last but not least consistency.

Taking caution as I curate my audience, pertaining only to what is a part my essence and watching what it attracts. I wish to see this world in its humblest form like unfiltered black coffee but in its full spectrum of colors.”

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