Trial and Error: The different people we meet and go out with
Shared by Diana Georgia
The way I see it, life gets too complicated sometimes because we undergo so many stages. And in each stage we go through, we experience trial and error especially in terms of our relationships with our family, friends and special loved ones.
I had been single for five years before I got in my current relationship, but I did go out with some people within those years. It was more of a choice. I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship yet. Despite that, I spent some of my time trying to get to know people. While meeting and getting to know people, I have realized how different they all were, yet they all had one thing in common. They were all nice, but they weren’t the one I imagined to share portions (if not the rest) of my life with.
Within years of dating, I have learned a lot of things and it changed my perspective in life a bit. They say we spend most of our life doing important things like studying, working, taking care of our family and friends, and making our life better in general. While some of it is spent finding the right person we want to share the rest of our life with. Here are the kinds of people I encountered (note: I don’t really like labeling people but I’d like to be specific with their description) so far…
I met him in high school and we were actually recognized by people as a ‘couple.’ Well, unfortunately, he didn’t get the memo. He thought that the moment I said “yes, we can have coffee together,” I already meant “yes, I would love to be your girlfriend.” This is the person I kind of felt bad for because he actually introduced me to his parents and his parents thought we were serious. Well, he was serious to the point of stalking me not only physically but also online. He knows everything about me. What I do, who I talk to or where I go. He still follows me until now even when he himself is already in a relationship with a great and beautiful woman.
I went out with this guy next, and he was a really good person. He was very nice but everyone thought he was gay. He was more feminine than I was at that time. He would always carry a bottle of loose face powder and he would always smell like a baby. His voice was also too soft. He was a real GENTLEman, and I really liked him. I was, however, worried he would ask for my makeup in the future and although that sounds fun, I would still prefer someone who wouldn’t use up all of my beauty products.
Honestly, I am not good at receiving compliments. I also suck at giving the people I like good compliments. I always end up screwing up things. But then I met this guy who was also very nice, yet asked for my compliments all the time. He would always throw beautiful words at me that would make me want to lose all of my clothing, but he didn’t really care much about me throwing my clothes on the floor. He was more interested at me telling him how good looking he was. And he wanted me to do that almost all the time. He would send me photos every time and he would wait for me to give him compliments. When I don’t, he wouldn’t talk to me for days. How great was that?
This guy had the same qualities as The Narcissistic. He also liked being complimented although I could feel a bit of insecurity in him. Wait. Scratch that. He was actually very insecure that was why he liked it when I gave him compliments. He had always felt so threatened by my personality and he would call me out when he thought I was trying to intimidate him. He wanted to be the one who would always be pleased and not the one who would always please me. He hated doing things for me because he thought that I should be the one doing things for him.
I don’t think I still need to explain this one, but yes. This guy liked to appear and then disappear all of a sudden. One day, he would show up and ask me to have dinner with him. The next day, he would be gone. Months after, he would show up again and then gone again…for good.
This guy just wanted to find out if I was blessed enough or not. Apparently, he thought he was still a baby who needed to be breast fed.
This was the guy who would always call me manipulative when we fought, so he could gas light me. He would tell me I did things when in fact, I didn’t even really do things for him. He liked to manipulate my feelings. He made me upset about things I didn’t do, so I could do other things for him.
This guy actually studied Psychology, but man was he a psycho, too. He would always try to analyze both of my verbal and non-verbal action, and he would always give me advice. His advice was actually a bit helpful, especially when I was at my lowest and I didn’t know what to do. I said he was a psycho because when things didn’t work out for the both of us, he threatened me he would post pictures of me on the Internet. So until now, I have been waiting for my nudes to leak online. I wonder when I’d be famous for it. He’s taking such a long time.
I really liked this guy. He was very compassionate. Yet, he was depressed all the time. He would easily get upset about random things and when he did, he would not talk to me for days. He would tell me about it though, unlike the guy who just appeared and disappeared for months.
If you have noticed, I focused on their specific weak/negative points more than their good ones. Apparently, things didn’t work out for me and each of these guys. Although I had also seen good qualities in them, they were just not the right ones for me. They all possessed qualities I didn’t like more than the things I liked.
After seeing these guys, I have formed an image of my ideal person in my mind. I wanted someone who was like this or someone who was like that and so many other things.
Until one day, I met this guy who changed everything. I said I wanted someone who doesn’t possess all of those qualities I just enumerated above. But I fell in love, and I didn’t care about the standards I set anymore. He was neither a stalker nor an effeminate guy. In fact, he hated SNS, and he liked to act macho all the time. He also couldn’t care less whether or not he received a compliment from me, so I always showered him with praises and words of adoration. I also liked that he didn’t analyze all of my actions and questioned the things I did.
However, he could be very bossy and manipulative. He also liked to disappear sometimes, and he couldeasily get depressed. He would get very sensitive and when he did, he wouldn’t like to talk to anyone for days. I told myself I would never like a person who would tell me what to do, but I found myself agreeing to everything he said and following everything he instructed me to do. I also told myself that I should never go for a guy who doesn’t exert as much effort as I do but I have always ended up waiting and hoping for him to talk to me when he’s gone for days.
I do, however, still accepted this side of him no matter what. Being with him made me realize that sometimes, we don’t really get all the things we want. Even when we try so hard to perfect things, there would still be something that would screw it all up. Not in a bad way, but in a good way.
Do you love to write? If you have a story, article, post about dating or love, please Share your Heartbeat! We would love you feature your writing.