He taught me to feel

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I feel a lot. I never really understood until now, I feel EVERYTHING. I never really paid much attention to it until now, until him. You know him, the him that walks into your life like he owns the place and when your defensive, unemotional, I control everything self tries to puff up, his smile or touch breaks it completely down. I thought I was a steel shield, nothing could ever truly penetrate my heart, but he did, he came without warning and made me rethink everything I ever thought about friendship, connection, chemistry and love. Its safe to say he shook up my world in a way I can barely describe.

I should run away from this, its so unfamiliar, there are so many reasons I shouldn’t even entertain, but I do, I do because I’m learning here, I’m growing here, I’m truly loving without condition or thought of what will or won’t be. I’m experiencing life and all that it brings here. Playing it safe will have me wondering if, but if I let this interaction flow, if all else fails I know that the currents and the tides are taking me on a ride filled with lessons, and growth and wisdom. Everything isn’t how I expect it to be and you know what at this point I don’t care.

Maybe in a month I’ll have to walk away, maybe in a year, who knows. But I do know if I walk away because of what others think, I’ll regret it forever. Sometimes we have to stop fighting and allow the current to take us away, to calmly float and not think, not think because I always think! I think about the best case scenario, I think about the worse case scenario, I think and I think and I think until I think my thinking is wrong! I think its time to just stop! Stop over analyzing, stop holding my tongue, stop being afraid and just be!

Be in the moment, be in like, be in friendship, be in love, and if it all crumbles to pieces, I will still smile knowing that for once, I flowed with the current and experienced something so beautiful.


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