A letter to my Ex’s new girlfriend

open letter

Shared by soinessence

Dear New Girlfriend,

I hear you’ve been curious about me. Wondering what I’m like. Probably hoping I’m as bad as you wish I am. I wonder if your thoughts dwell on me as much as mine dwell on you.

Possibly not.

You should know that I was you once – or more accurately, I was in your position.

Four years ago, I met someone. He was charming and extremely handsome with these piercing, round blue eyes and tanned skin. But along with that, he was kind, sincere and I could feel his vulnerabilities as if I was holding them in my own hands.
Night after night, we would stay up and talk about everything. Life, our pasts, our dreams. Somewhere between the sober shyness and memory-lapsing inebriation of our first week together, I began to fall for this guy. But, like you, the start of our relationship saw cracks of a niggling suspicion that this guy, this amazing, beautiful man who held my delicate heart in such fragile hands, was tainted by his love of another.

There was a beautiful girl before me who had stolen his heart for the very first time and broken it. I used to wonder about her, the way you wonder about me. I used to wonder if he had chosen me as a replacement for her. If the traits he loved and searched for in me appeased the piece of his heart that missed her. I used to hope and pray that she was as bad as you wish I am.

I began to wilt under my suspicions, shrink in my insecurities but gradually grew to realise that his love for her was a blessing in disguise for me. It proved how much he could love. How much he could hurt. How much I must have meant to him that he chose me, even with the option to go back. This is something you must realise too, if you want your relationship to last.

After three wonderful years, our relationship didn’t work out. We will both remember it with fond memories and perhaps a little bit of nostalgia, but isn’t that how we all want our relationships to end?

What you need to remember is this:

Don’t hold him as a hostage of his past. Love doesn’t disappear because circumstances change. What I have learned, is that feelings can alter. Time granted me this epiphany when I realised that people can be wrong for each other, even if they are the loveliest individuals in the world. Some relationships don’t work out. Somebody wiser than us both can figure that one out.

We still talk, sometimes. He’s different. He saves his intimacies for you now.

I want to thank you personally, for showing me that it’s time to move on.

Knowing that he has now moved on with you has given me the push I needed to realise it is my time to let go too, and to stop being the niggle that causes your insecurities.

If our relationship taught me anything, it is that this wonderful, incredible man has eyes for only one.

When he loves, he loves fiercely. Don’t throw it away.

Yours sincerely,
Ex Girlfriend

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