Do you want to fall in love? Try this!
Well you asked! And we may have found an answer. New York Times writer Mandy Len Catron has written an article that has taken couples and pairs of people around the world by storm (a love storm that is). Based on a study by a psychiatrist named Dr. Arthur Aron, these 36 questions split up into 3 sets have been rumored to help any two people fall in love. Mandy swears by it and in fact, I could get behind it as well!
My partner found these questions a few months ago and we did them one night at dinner over tapas. Tapas is usually a relaxing long dinner anyway, but we were there for 4 HOURS. It was crazy but the questions just make you think and they take time to answer. It’s also exciting and though we’ve been together for over 2 years I found myself being excited at the thought of not knowing what the answers were going to be and what I was going to learn. It was a fun evening and definitely worth a try.
When I did it I was under the impression that you had to stare into each others’ eyes the whole time so imagine how interesting that was! Thank god I wasn’t doing it with a stranger or they would have thought I was some kind of non-blinking weirdo. HAH! Anyway the fact that you have to look at each other is what makes it challenging and equally rewarding. Similar to Mandy- I completely forgot that there was anyone else in the room. It was such a nice feeling to be preoccupied by exactly the right thing- my company. I can totally see how the questions, as they increase in intimacy- can make even two total strangers feel as though they’ve really gotten to know each other. So the point is that whether you are strangers, crushes, lovers or long time partners- these questions can help anyone fall in love or fall back into love.
The key is to sit with your partner, or another person who you choose, and answer these questions each taking a turn to answer every one. Then once you’ve completed the questions you stare into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes. Four minutes straight… you can do it! After this you will fall in love. That’s what they say anyway. Dr. Aron tried it out with two complete strangers who got married 6 months later! Mandy did it with her university friend (and crush) and they fell in love as well! Now that’s a result worth the effort of trying it yourself!
Try them out and if it works please be sure to comment and let us know your experience =D
Here are the questions!
1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?
2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?
3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?
4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?
6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?
7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?
8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.
9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.
12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?
14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?
15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
16. What do you value most in a friendship?
17. What is your most treasured memory?
18. What is your most terrible memory?
19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?
20. What does friendship mean to you?
21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?
22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.
23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?
24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling … “
26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share … “
27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.
28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.
29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.
30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?
31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.
32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?
34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?
35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?
36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.
Do you love to write? If you have a story, article, post about dating or love, please Share your Heartbeat! We would love you feature your writing.