How to Screen an Online Date
Shared by Miss Wooable.
So after two not-so-great dates I’m determined to make the third a success. When I ask a friend (who is an experienced online dater) what I’m doing wrong, her response is
‘You’re not screening your dates.’
I imagine myself peering through the window of the meeting place wearing a wig and sunglasses as I assess my date from afar. She assures me it doesn’t have to be that complicated.
I’ve spent the last week taking my time in ‘getting to know’ my potential dates. I must be honest, I probably have been a bit hasty with making arrangements to meet, maybe in attempt to get it over with – and it hasn’t worked. As someone who loves a list, I’ve asked my friend for her top tips on how to screen an online date.
This is what she came up with:
1. Re-read the profile – find out what he is looking for. Some people will state they are after casual flings straight up or that they’re married – is their goal in line with your goal?
2. Does the profile give an indication of what they are interested in? hobbies etc.. these are good conversations starters and if they haven’t listed any it may be that they don’t have any
3. Grammar and spelling – have they taken care with this and made the effort to make a good impression?
4. Once you start communicating are there questions going back and forth or is it one sided? Are they talking only about themselves and not showing any interest in who you are or what you like?
5. Photos – do they have a good range of photos that show their face rather than their car, dog, half-naked selfies in the mirror?
I refer to the list as I chat to a couple of potential dates online. Then one evening with my cup of tea in hand, one of them asks me something truly horrifying.
‘Do you want to speak on the phone?’
My friend calms me down telling me she has spoken to lots of dates before meeting face to face. ‘It’s an easy way to see if you get along and it can save time. If the chat is awkward the date might be awkward.’
I’m not convinced but for the sake of giving things a go I agree to talk on the phone.
We arrange a chat at lunch time. When the phone flashes with ‘R.S.V.P Mike’ across screen I stare at it for some time before I wake up and press the accept button.
What if he’s a weirdo?
Him: Um…hi….So, how’s your day?
Me: How’s your day? I mean great, how’s your day (I cringe as I suddenly realise I’m the weirdo!) I can hear the sound of bombs falling and exploding all around me.
During the painfully awkward silence I recall my friend’s screening list and flash back to his profile.
Me: So, did you play soccer on the weekend?’
Him: Yeah, I did actually…
He continues, telling me about the game which leads to him asking questions about my interest in sports. Success. Amazingly the conversation has been revived!
I wipe my forehead as the call ends. We have decided to meet for a coffee later in the week. I’m undecided if a phone call beforehand is a good idea or not yet but I feel slightly more relaxed about meeting him.
I guess I will just have to wait and see.
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