The Love Philosophy
Shared by Aashu Chawla.
I watch romantic movies more than I should and a lot of them have a similar story line; a clumsy girl with a sad life and a dysfunctional guy with a scarred heart come together to form a perfect couple. Two imperfect people fall in love because they complete each other, is usually the motto of these kinds of movies.
Naturally, as a teen I kept fascinating over guys I thought would complete me. Instead of a man who would help me overcome my troubles I was searching for a man who would solve my problems for me. This wasn’t such a bad thing until I was given the responsibilities of his failures and troubles. I realized this wasn’t the bargain I was willing to make.
Looking for a guy who would accept me with my imperfections made me lose out on the time I could have used to improve myself. I realize now how dangerous this can be. Our growth as human beings should never stop. Whereas I would not hesitate in saying that a relationship where you are not improving is a relationship worth walking out of.
Do we fall in love to exchange our failures and problems? What if your partner has more number of problems than you; is love a happy feeling even then? Aren’t we expecting too much from our partner? Instead of accepting someone’s flaw why not help them improve? I think I didn’t understand then that support is very different from leaning; that a comfortable relationship is very different from a secured relationship.
I know that there is no such thing as a perfect human being and there will be a certain imperfections in you that you cannot overcome but you need to accept those flaws yourself before you expect the other person to accept them. Let’s not get into relationships to burden or handover each other responsibilities; this will make the relationship into a full time job for both the parties. And jobs are boring also people tend to change jobs often for excitement. :p
Love is a luxury and not a necessity. Stop burdening love with conditions and expectations. Let it sink into your life with a feeling of gratitude. You do not deserve love, you are lucky to find it.
Let the other person decide himself how he wants to love you. Whether he will accept your flaws or help you improve them is his decision. You on the other hand need to take every responsibility of the way you are. Trust me nobody is looking for that extra burden on their heads. If not complete, let’s at least be contented before getting into a relationship because only then will we be able to appreciate love for what it is.
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