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Recently I’ve come upon the issue of men who struggle to get anywhere with women. They just can’t figure out why they are having trouble when they have seemingly done everything right. The frustration builds and usually the excuse “women only like assholes” is flung around. Personally, I don’t think women only like assholes. I do, however have a theory on a common reason men fail with women.
When a guy likes a girl he will usually show it by being nicer to her than normal. In some cases, this leads to friendship. The guy will be yearning for romance while the woman is satisfied with staying friends. Now the question becomes why is it that the girl is satisfied with being just friends? My guess is that it involves what I call “boyfriend privileges”. Boyfriend privileges are the special things a man does for a woman in a relationship. They can involve acts of selflessness, kindness etc. In most cases they are things you would expect someone to do for their partner. The issue arises when a guy starts granting boyfriend privileges to a woman who is not his girlfriend. The idea is by doing these things, he will get closer to a romantic relationship. This is not the case. Giving a woman all the benefits of a relationship while being just friends actually hurts your chances. When people enter relationships they go in with the expectation that they are gaining something, whether it be physical or emotional. If a woman can get all the benefits of a boyfriend without a committed relationship, there is no reason for her to want anything more. This can apply to both genders. If you really like someone then make them work for those privileges so that they don’t take you for granted.
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