He Doesn’t Love You

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Shared by  Natecia Kimika

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It’s 4am on February 15, you are awakened by the sound of your ‘X-Rated’ playlist starting over, a playlist you spent hours creating the day before. You jump up disoriented and find yourself laying in a bed full of wrinkled rose petals, your hair is all over the place, beads of sweat running down your body making the silk sheets you just bought feel like they have been super glued to your legs, but then it hits you, the condition you’re in isn’t from the love fest you were supposed to have had with your man; he stood you up, again. After you spent thousands of dollars on lingerie, new perfume and pole dancing lessons, got your hair done right, subjected yourself to being tweezed, waxed and plucked in places you don’t even want to remember, slaved for hours over a hot stove making his favorite dinner for two and still managed to get yourself together in time for what was supposed to be a night of romance, this *insert choice word here* had the nerve to not show up. You check your phone, no calls from him, not even a Whatsapp message but yet he has updated his Facebook status: “Club or nah?” You wonder why you keep putting yourself through this, he has done it before, many times actually and you accept the same lame excuses, sometimes he doesn’t even give you an explanation. He has hurt you so many times and begged for you to come back only to hurt you again and again. His games are getting old and you know in your heart he won’t change but yet you stay, hoping and waiting for him to realize that it really doesn’t get any better than you; waiting in vain.

Does this sound even remotely familiar? The truth is most if not all women go through this at some point in their lives. They fall deeply in love with a guy who just does not feel the same way about them. A man will say anything he needs to say in order to get what he wants and just because he says I love you doesn’t necessarily mean he really loves you. One of the biggest mistakes women make is thinking that just because they’ve been in the same relationship for a long time or if they’ve broken up and the man keeps coming back means he’s madly in love with them. It may mean the two of you have some sort of bond whether emotional or sexual but this should not be mistaken for love.

Love is an action word, one can’t merely say I love you, one has to show and prove. If he can’t do that, then he doesn’t love you. Ofcourse everyone is different and we all express our feelings in different ways, but when you genuinely love someone there is a very basic and universal way of expressing it. Usually, people know when they’re loved because it’s a feeling they all can relate to. If you can’t relate to his kind of ‘love’ then he doesn’t love you. There is no way someone can love you when they constantly make you feel unwanted, uncared for or even hated, it’s just not logical.

Okay so you love him right? One easy way of figuring out if he really loves you is to pay close attention to the way you treat him and then compare it to the way he treats you. Does he check up on you when he knows you’ve had a rough day? Does he concern himself with the things affecting you? Does he listen to you? Does he compromise? Does he go the extra mile for you? Would he do the things you do for him just because you love him? If you answered no to two or more of those questions then he doesn’t love you.

Too many times we as women settle for way less than we deserve just because we’re in love, and too many times we are so busy loving that we don’t even realize the love is not being reciprocated. Sometimes by the time we do realize, we are in so deep that it seems impossible to let go, so we cling to what we think we have left knowing that we deserve better. Many times we refuse to see what’s right in front of our faces because we know it means we would have to face the truth but as they say, each journey begins with one step and it gets easier. So put that dinner away for tomorrow, get rid of those rose petals, change those awful silk sheets and that ridiculously uncomfortable lingerie squeezing you in all the wrong places, get yourself together and get rid of him because if he doesn’t love you, then he’s not worth your time.

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