Paint me your affections.

Shared by Alex

I met him at a bar. It wasn’t a special place, just a place that all the college kids would go to burn off steam on the weekends. The bar was a perfect combination of frat bros, athletics, nerds, sorority girls, hipsters, loners, glamour girls, anything and everything in between. Everyone could fit in. I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 4 years and was trying to get out, meet some new people and have fun for once in my life. I remember his voice as he said whats up to my best friends boyfriend. They played football together. I could sense the kindness in his voice, there was somthing good about his soul. I reached up grabbed his hat and asked my best friend to take our picture. We exchanged numbers and that was that. My other best friend leaned over and said he’s a freshman, get your shit together! We laughed and I went home alone that night.

Persistence. My freshman would text me all the time begging for us to hang out. It was funny and my girlfriends and I would giggle at the stupid texts he would send. Persistence. If there is one word to some up everything about him it would be that. Eventually meeting out again at a party, he was more and more persistent. I didn’t kiss him that night when he carried me to the sober driver car to bring me home. I always felt safe with him.

He would text me asking for me to come to his party whenever his fraternity was hosting one. I remember being excited for that party not to see my persistent freshman but to see another boy who made me upset that night. I asked my freshman to hold my keys as I went dancing in the basement with my friends to cheer up. I trusted him. I asked him to dance with me, we kissed and I went home with him that night back to the freshman dorms, I was a junior at the time. We kissed in the shower when we got back to his room, making our way into his bed I lost track of time. I have known my freshman for 8 months now. We survived the summer, we survived the fights. No one will ever take his place despite the things we have said to each other. He has grown from the freshman boy I remember. He think he’s a big boy but has many problems. Family, drugs and me. Thats all he has. I try to leave when things get bad but he needs me. Not in the desperate way but in a way that my heart aches when I remove myself from his life. We can’t survive without each other whether it’s just being friends or being lovers. He tells me I’m perfect, we smoke, we lay, we make love, we hold each other when we are sad not telling the other we are. Somehow when I hold him I feel at peace. My freshman showed me what love is. It’s a burning passion, it’s terrifying and it made me realize I was never in love with my boyfriend of 4 years. He isn’t the most smart individual or most dynamic. He is good though. I am perfect, he is imperfect but somehow so perfect to me. We work because of that one word that brought us so close in the first place. Persistence.

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