“I Want All of You, Forever, You and Me, Everyday”

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Shared by bigfish2fishbait

I could write about you for days. The endless amount of pages would engulf an entire room. The bad things, the good things, the past, the present, the future…I could write about you forever. I know I’ve told you a thousand times that I regret our past but now I know that I don’t. You helped shape the person I am today and I should be nothing but grateful to have had all those experiences with you. I try to deny it, but I am absolutely crazy about you.

You are tall, and have arms that swallow my torso when you hug me. Sometimes those hugs are warm from missing my touch, others are playful and require squirming to escape. Your hands are big, they are strong, and reassuring. Sometimes they are delicate, running through my hair as I lay beside you. Sometimes they are aggressive, pulling me as close to your body as you can get me. Your freckles are small, and adorable. Your smile is mischievous and is only authentic when I can see your eyes light up. You don’t like your little teeth, but I do. I am sincerely jealous of your auburn hair and perfectly arched eyebrows. You have really cute feet for a guy, and I’m so glad you play footsie with me.

You hate being still, and you despise waiting. I love how you jump right out of the car as soon as it’s parked. You walk with intent, and never slow down. You are so messy. You like to put your hands in your pockets when you sit. You love to talk; you’ve never known a stranger. You talk like a two year old when you’re upset. You don’t like to be angry, or know that people are angry with you. You are easily amused and love to laugh, just like me. Seeing people happy is what makes you happy. You act selfish when you get scared, but you’re learning to put others first. You have so much love in your heart, and it is so beautiful to watch you show it.

It’s weird. Even though I think you’re amazing, we’ve never been able to stay together. We’re so different, but at the same time we’re way too similar. We both care too much about things we shouldn’t, and don’t care enough about the things we should. We are immature, and aren’t sure how to share our feelings without exploding. We know exactly how to hurt each other and have exploited that over and over again. Yet, we always find our way back to this. We leave and come back, practically picking up right where we left off.

You can’t stay away from me when we’re in a room together. It doesn’t take long for you to sit too close beside me, or find a way to put your arm around me. We’re like magnets; we’re polar opposites, indefinitely attracted to one another. You run one way while I run the other, but we always clang back together, unable to escape the natural attraction between us. We are a classic example of the love/hate relationship. We can’t fight it, and we know that because we’ve tried. I am your worst enemy, yet your perfect partner in crime. You are my poison, yet the perfect remedy to all my troubles. Neither one of us is perfect for the other, and we know that because we’ve tried to be. We’ve tried to change ourselves to make this work, as well as try to change the each other, and every time we fail at changing and fall apart. Then we crawl back to the scene of the crime to pick up the other’s pieces and carefully kiss them back together.

We are addicted to each other for every right and wrong reason. You are my guilty pleasure. You are my sweet escape. You are my dirty little secret. You are my best friend. You are everything I’ve always wanted. You are everything I’ve tried to stay away from, but are undoubtedly everything I have ever asked for. No one else would ever be good enough for me, and no one else would ever be good enough for you.

You are safe, and you are comfortable. You are my mine, you’ve always been mine, and it doesn’t matter how far we run away from it, you will forever be mine. There has never been a day in the past three years that you haven’t crossed my mind, whether its a blessing or a curse, I think about you everyday. I know everyone says you never get over your first love, but that is not what this is. I love you unconditionally, under any circumstance, during any time of the day, through all the terrible wars we both fight, and at the end of every night I will still love you.

Not many people get to keep their first love forever, and if I was able to keep you forever I think I’d be the luckiest girl in the world.

I love you.

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