10 Things NOT to Do After a Breakup!

ten things

Shared by Asali the Kenyan blogger

Breaking up with a partner can often go two ways. One either feels happy and emotionally light like they’ve offloaded a load of trash or one can feel lost and in pain similar to your kidneys bursting.

A few years ago, I had my first relationship and my first break-up psychotic episode. I look back now and I am terrified at the extent a human heart will go to, to rekindle the relationship. We met at school, he was tall, strong and shy and I was short, chubby and talkative. If that wasn’t the ideal match, I don’t know what is !! Long story short, we broke it off, I thought I had the upper hand but I didn’t, I decided to try and get him back…..That’s where the crazy began.

Learn from me, DO NOT do these after a break up;

1. Do not remain as close friends…at least for a while. Why?

Breaking up with someone you loved does not mean that the feelings end immediately, they don’t. In fact, the break up might make you more drawn to your ex. Mistakes happen, stay away and give yourself time.

2. Do not call or text your ex when you get lonely.

Try and keep busy. Calling makes you look desperate and if you have a jerk of an ex, this will not be a good look for you. I was pretty lucky my ex was lovely, I called all the time which is sad to admit but true.

3. Do not stalk your ex

OK, I know most of you are normal so this is not directed at you. I sort of did drive by his house a few times. I am not sure what I was expecting but it always made me feel worse. Looking back, it seems like I enjoyed the sadness and agony.

4. Do not delete your ex from any social media until you are sure you won’t go snooping.

It becomes embarrassing when you have to find out from your friends how he is coping. Unless your ex deletes you, don’t do it. This can be great also as you can show him that you are doing just fine. Even though you’re not and you cry yourself to sleep every night !!

5. Do not attend any social gatherings where your ex might be

I know you will, and like me, you will see him with a date and that will get your blood boiling. Stay away and manage your blood pressure.

6. Do not return any gifts your ex gave you.

My ex had bought me a specific calculator that I needed for statistics. I got carried away after breaking up and I gathered nearly everything he bought me and deposited them in front of his house. Long story short, I needed the calculator for an exam a few days later and it was really expensive. I called him to bring it back. He was a sweetheart, he did. He laughed so hard and I felt stupid. Gifts were given with love, keep them or burn them but don’t return them.

7. DO NOT bad mouth your ex.

I won’t lie, I did…. A LOT !! and that made him the bigger person.

8. DO NOT avoid your ex’s family.

I did, and trust me….it becomes even more awkward with time. Years latter, I still feel awkward and I am sure I will always be ” That weird girl ‘insert ex name here’ went out with !”

9. Keep your words short and sweet, incase they come back and bite your arse !!

DO NOT talk crap, people always remember how your words made them feel. Just because it’s a break up does not mean you can’t be civilized.

10. DO NOT jump into another relationship to make your ex jealous or to make yourself feel better.

It Never Works !!

Learn from my mistakes.

Yours Truthfully,


Asali the Kenyan Blogger xoxo

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