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Fatherless America: America’s Sad Decline

never been single
Shared by our awesome Featured Writer, One Gentleman.

Two-Parent Household Decline

There’s nothing a man can do, that I can’t do better and in heels. — Ginger Rogers

I will not argue the merits of the quote, because the message is that of a lighthearted joke. However, there is one thing I know women cannot do, in which only a man can…being a father to their sons. 

In 1960, the percentage of homes without fathers affected only 11 percent of the American population. In 2012, that number increased severely, to 1 in 3 or fifteen million of children in the United States. However, some estimates are much higher.

Why do I consider fatherless homes an important topic? Why does a son need the guidance of his father, when his mother is more than capable? A mother cannot be a father, just as a father cannot be a mother. How does one expect to take on the lifestyle of a gentleman, when he views no positive interactions between his mother and a male equivalent?

The lessons a boy retains on being a man, comes through the teachings of his father. He learns how to speak, treat and act in the presence of a woman, through what he observes by his father. There are people currently, advocating against this message and it is such a sad tale.

Fathers are relevant in the lives of their children, and to think otherwise is a tragedy. All fathers are not great, and there are males who walk away from their children. However, it seems we only focus on them. There are countless men who remain active in the lives of their children, yet we shine the spotlight on absentee fathers.

If a young boy views the negative treatment of his mother, through the actions of his father or other male, he systematically acquires what he perceives as standard behavior. The negative treatment becomes a conditioning of sorts.

It comes as no surprise; the path he begins is one unlikely to encounter the destination of a gentleman.

As far as this normal behavior is concerned, that becomes part of his DNA. The lack of respect for his female counterpart connects to the absence of a positive female, and male relationship at home.

He may revere his mother, but that is due to a different set of allegiance. However, for any girl he pursues, he has no understanding on what a successful romantic relationship entails.

Fatherless sons tend to rebel against male authority figures. This individual has a higher probability of facing incarceration. Therefore, there is a clear connection between children of fatherless homes, and one’s susceptibility for criminal activity.

Within homes absent of a father, there is a higher chance of the son, not being able to establish the different roles and identity between genders. Despite popular belief today, there are biological differences between males and females. Studies prove this and simple observation proves this as well.

If you want to enhance the expansion of gentlemen and ladies alike, become actively involved in the lives of your children. Fathers, your sons are unlikely to understand the etiquette that comes with courting girls, if they have no knowledge on what it means to be a man of honor.

Your sons are unlikely to grasp the importance of self-identity, when they have no knowledge of self. Do not merely create and disappear—be active, be present and most importantly, teach them the ways of a gentleman’s lifestyle. The world will thank you for it.

Young boys are lost today and on their path of discovery, they search for the closest examples of a father figure. Sadly, the examples they encounter are usually the worst role models. We have to do better.

However, for the countless number of active fathers, popular culture may undermine your role, but individuals like myself do not. The connection between a son and his father play a significant role, on his journey towards adulthood.

Many of his relationship failures can trace back to the absence of a father, or a father lacking the ability to teach, what he is also missing within himself.

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10 thoughts on “Fatherless America: America’s Sad Decline

  1. I don’t ever plan on having children. Most women just think I’m a total freak who will always be alone. I’m 25 years old. So it’s not my choice, it’s something I can’t help.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Do they base their assessment on the face-to-face dialogue, or from reading your material online? You cannot help how people interpret or judge your writing. You can only control what you think you represent. Interpretation on the other hand, is in the eye of the beholder

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      • It’s reading my material online. That’s what they base their assessment on. I don’t represent any of my terrifying stories, Nazi characters or dark plot lines. I’m a normal guy.

        Liked by 1 person

        • It seems the conclusions about you are based entirely by other female bloggers. This is what I was drawing my conclusion on. Have you met/engaged with women, with no ties to blogging? In other words, chatting on other non-writing related websites, or even offline? What I am getting at is that the conclusions about you, seem to occur by women encountering your writing. When you remove the writing, they can get to know you, and not your writing persona

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  2. Great post. This makes me think of a scene in Boyz N the Hood. It’s been a lot of years, so I may not have this quite right, but it was something like “any guy can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a father”.

    I’m a father of two boys, and I have to say it is at once the most difficult and most rewarding thing I have ever done. To me trying to shape my boys into the men they will one day be is more important than anything. But it’s also very scary, because it’s not as if we get training on this kind of stuff. It’s a learning experience, and you try to do the best you can.

    The best way I can teach them is to model the behavior I believe is right, and to live my life with integrity. That, and hold my children accountable for their actions while still trying to provide an environment that lets them know it’s alright to make mistakes. It’s a tough balancing act, and it may be many years until I know how I’ve done.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for checking out the post. I appreciate it.

      “Any fool with a dick can make a baby, but it takes a real man to be a father.” I actually watched the movie with my wife about two months ago, since she did not check it out yet. She loved the tone of it.

      The role of a father is so vital, for a young boy traveling on the road to adulthood. We are undermining the importance, especially with articles like, “Are fathers really necessary?” It makes me cringe with this new wave of people, discrediting fathers as if they are simply sperm donors with no worth.

      As an eventual parent, the best we can do, is do the best we can do for them. We instill the very best of us, along with the lessons we’ve learned along the way from others. The goal is to make sure our children can be even better versions of us, in every way. I like that you referenced holding them accountable.

      Accountability is something I notice online is no longer valid, if I go by the YouTube videos. Lol. Such a tragedy. What are their ages?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I love my Dad, but he wasn’t always a very positive role model. I was lucky enough to have a lot of strong male role models though and lucky for my brother too.

    Liked by 1 person

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