Remember This Day: Your Lucky Star is Shining

Broken Childhood Love

Shared by hollie.

I don’t always put stock into fortune cookies. I did once (ok, twice) get a fortune that said “you are a happy man!” But, when I got a fortune that said “remember this day 3 months from now: your lucky star is shining” I wondered if something awesome was going to happen to me that day. I flipped my calendar forward three months and carefully taped the fortune to the date on the 3 month mark…January 25th. This date happens to be the anniversary of the date I left my abuser, all those years ago…so I was even more interested and thinking that Confucius and The Fates, and the Gods of Sesame Chicken were conspiring to bring something magical into my life.

When I heard that the Bart Crow Band was playing in the town I work in, I knew I had to go. Unfortunately, none of my friends could make it to this show. I had invited my sister, thinking we hadn’t been out together in ages, but she had decided that squishing into a crowded bar was something she was not willing to do. Thankfully, she and my brother-in-law offered to come pick me up. It is a 30 minute drive so I was so grateful for that. Yes, I could have gone to see Bart Crow sober…but since I was going to be there alone I figured I’d want a beer to hold. I mostly expected to just sidle up to the bar and enjoy the show from there, even though seating is at a premium in this particular bar.

A few coworkers commented that they couldn’t believe I was going to a concert by myself. This wasn’t the first time I had done it and it wasn’t the last. This time made me a little nervous, though. It is one thing to go to a concert out of town and make new friends…it is quite another to go to a concert by yourself in a place where people will know you…see that you are alone, hell I was expecting at least a couple of ex-boyfriends to be there. I had almost talked myself out of going but I remembered the fortune cookie. I also remembered that January 25th was a day I should celebrate and that I was not going to let myself miss out on anything, including incredible live music, just because I didn’t have someone to tag along with me.

I agonized over what to wear the whole week. I just had this feeling that this night was going to be big and if I was going to go to a concert alone, I was going to do it looking fabulous. I went across the street to my sister’s house twice with different outfits. Of course, she and my brother-in-law disagreed on which one looked better. (I went with her suggestion.) Not only did I have to decide what looked best, but I also had to contend with the cold Kansas weather. This bar doesn’t have a coat check…so wearing something you won’t sweat to death inside with, which is also something you won’t look completely ridiculous in when you walk in from what feel like the Arctic, is a factor. I ended up with brown Ariat boots, dark skinnies, and a brown burnout shirt that flowed at the waist but nipped in at my hips. I made sure all of my hair was curled perfectly, that my makeup was just right, and that I had doused myself in my signature perfume (Clinique Happy Heart).

When I walked in, I was dismayed to see that my hopes of sidling up to the bar were dashed. The place was packed, even though I had arrived early. I waited an eternity for a beer and proceeded to stand awkwardly at the back of the room. Most of the people who were there, had grabbed the tables or were hovering around them so while I knew I could mingle around once the opening band started, I was feeling awkward and alone until then. I noticed a group of people toward the front that were friends of Jamie. (Remember him? Check out My Jamie if you’re new here…he has a guest blog post coming up this week, too!) Adam was there and I recognized him immediately. I had heard he was coming, because another friend of mine had scoffed at my sister driving all the way to pick me up. He said “Hell, Adam will be there with his dad, just have them take you home!” I reminded him that I did not actually know Adam yet, so I wasn’t going to volunteer them to just drop me off on the way home. I would have just gone over to the table and introduced myself then, but a girl I just can’t stand was with the group (she’s a girlfriend of a friend of thiers..no one likes her.) Instead I text Jamie, “I’m here alone. Your friends are here. Maybe I should just make them my new friends.”

He urged me to just go over and talk to them, saying that Adam was like his brother and that he’d love me, and I him. I decided that I needed another beer before I started introducing myself to a whole table full of people. When I saw Adam at the other end of the bar, like a total creeper, I snapped a pic of him to send to Jamie. I’m sorta sassy and I like to have a little fun so I told Jamie to send it to him, because he would have no idea who took it. Jamie took that and ran with it, telling Adam “I have eyes on you tonight, man.” Of course, Adam was curious as to who the hell would be taking his photo at a bar and sending it to a dude that lives 5 hours away. I let him squirm for a while. I didn’t really mean for him to squirm that long, but I ran into a girl I went to high school with and we ended up having such a great conversation that I didn’t make my way over to Adam for quite some time. When I introduced myself and explained about the picture he looked so relieved. He hugged me and said, “Oh good, I thought you’d be fat. I mean, I figured when Jamie sent me that picture. I mean, you’re beautiful.” (Jamie had played up the mystery photographer and, like I said, I let him squirm too long until his imagination got the better of him.)

I remember that moment taking my breath away. We talked a little and he hugged me again (he is Huggy McHuggerson when he is drunk, and I’m also pretty sure I got 15 high fives that night) and I told him I’d come back over to his table later…that I was going to go hang out with my friend I had run into. I had never felt so intensely about a person. Sure, I had been in love, I had been in lust, I had been infatuated. This felt different. I could tell he felt it, too. He was tongue tied when he would talk to me and I thought it was adorable. I was spellbound. He made his way back over to me before I came back to his table. We’d chat for a bit, and then split back to our respective spots in the bar. That didn’t last long.. pretty soon I was just a fixture at their table, much to the dismay of the skank that dates his friend. Apparently she showed his dad a picture of her vagina that night unexpectedly. Adam’s dad has a big, bright smile and when I assured him that I would under no circumstances show him my vagina, he broke out in a huge grin, tapped his chest and said “good, because I have a bad heart!”

When this song came on, we had to go dance.

Of course, he sang the lyrics into my ear, which was incredible. I had never felt so connected to someone. Everything felt right. I’m not normally a clingy girl. Nod at me every once in a while…wink at me from across the bar, I’ll be fine hanging with my own people or meeting new friends. I’m not the type of girl who will be stuck to your side all night, that is just not me. But, with Adam that night, it was like I couldn’t get close enough to him. It was crazy. He mentioned this as well, when we found ourselves holding hands and singing along to the music. It was ridiculous, we had just met. We talked later about how many times we should have met but didn’t…like the night I got into a fight with Brad about him. There were many other nights like this, we discovered later, where we were in the same place but didn’t realize it, or I was supposed to go see a show in a tiny little town but didn’t and guess whose band was playing? Those first coupe of weeks seemed like a whirlwind. It was like we were both saying “holy shit, this person is awesome!”

We had exchanged numbers at the bar and he left with his dad shortly before my sister came to pick me up. I was like a giggly schoolgirl when I got into my brother in law’s pickup. I was also quite drunk, but that is beside the point. Adam text me that he was smitten and I absolutely was, too. I decided to send him a picture of me snuggling with what was about to be my nieces Valentines gift. I figured, I was sitting in the back with a giant giraffe, I might as well take a picture with it. I knew I was going to write about this story tonight…but I didn’t realize I had saved this photo. I looked at it, and while I look very drunk, I also look smitten. I couldn’t remember ever having felt like that before, at least not so quickly and it was amazing. The fortune was right…I’ll remember that night as long as I live. That date is burned into my memory as blissful and perfect.

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