To Love is to Give a Piece of Yourself
Shared by imgracen.
You know when you love somebody when the hardest thing to say is goodbye. And ‘the pain of goodbye’, whether we like it or not, demands to be felt and is here to stay. Love is one of the nicest things in the world, sometimes it hits you off guard, you won’t see it coming. But some try to resist it, some tolerate, some cowardly hide it and some are still waiting for it. Love strikes anyone that even the worst people alive, the ones which make your tongue move backward when you classify them as human, know how love feels like. It never assures perpetual happiness though, because in love, there is also pain, which you would willingly embrace again and again- until you’re diligently consumed.
Sometimes love introduces itself with several versions of flattery making your liver bloat. Mine started with flowers, a big huggable white bear with a smiley note from blue magic and chocolates with almond nuts sealed with ‘hearts and kisses’. After a date, seeing him walk blocks away from where I stand was the hardest thing. I already miss him before we part. By a tantalizing quirk of fate, our hearts beat in sync. We’re embracing life a cloud nine as if everyday cupid is pointing his arrow to us. My spirit was lifted up high that it almost wanted to split up from my body. The part of the brain that dominantly functions was the hypothalamus. I was hypothetically crazy. It seemed like we’re both envisioning a magical, perfect love story. It makes me remember what Barney in How I Met Your Mother says, “Being a couple is like two souls of equal level of attractiveness both fitting together like two pieces of a very attractive puzzle.” Very well said Barney! I was really like feeling it.
As life presents some great surprises, it also rekindles an aggression of discovering a world out there that probably would be more fun if explored with more freedom and liberation. New perspective sinks in. The scenery of love becomes blurry. Before my heart shouts out for LOVE most of the time. But now, I cannot decipher what it says when he’s near. He was then the subject in most pages of my diary, but now I can hardly scribble a line for him. With both eyes closed and temporal sweet glances, we used to sing Jason Mraz’s ‘’There’s no need to complicate, our time is short. This is our fate I’m yours.’’ Now it becomes Lauren Christy’s, ‘So walk into the sun and watch me run into the rain. For you the future’s easy, so don’t weep, for me it’s getting steep.’ If he was tongue-tied when he proposed for love, now it’s me who stammers to spill the beans and call it a day. Worst is that as this awful realization lingers, it is backed up by the gestures of complacence and making no efforts to show me he grew up with my company. Sometimes when my colossal pride is awaken through successive insensitive actions, I compulsively do stupid things. Stupid to the extent of shutting doors down and pleasure myself in bleeding in silent. I’m a type of person who wants to fix things, lead people to sound thinking, in other words I want to be a good influence. But to feel like futile towards the person closest to you, it’s horrible. I felt guilty. I dint know if he needs me. Suddenly, I feel the need to know who I am outside of ‘us’.
Our default setting is being single. Sometimes by age or by emotion, we customized it to ‘in-a-relationship’, comes next ‘engaged to’ then if lucky goes up to ‘married to’. If a feeling of going back to your own pace would resurface to your momentarily off-duty brain, then you’d rather choose to reset to your solo setting. Ending something that doesn’t work means you are strong enough to set aside your blazing flame and start doing something healthy for both. Space.
It takes two to tango. And if the other can no longer dance with the beat, you might as well change the rhythm. Don’t be too complacent to see the lack of graceful motion. You might not want to see yourself swinging alone. On the other hand, don’t be afraid of being solo. You can take it in a naughty way where you throw your net in the ocean and see how many fishes you can catch. Or you can take it as a solitary moment where you can nurture and love yourself more. As saying goes, “You can’t give what you don’t have.” So gather all the love you can have for yourself and watch yourself being your own best friend. Eventually you’ll be ready to love again in a manner which is better than you did.
I’ve been inspired by this quote. So allow me to share this to you. “Don’t let life pass you by. It is way too short and in an instant it can be taken away. Try something new, even if it’s as small as tasting new food or as great as falling in love.”
Falling in love is an ancient artifact, albeit not everyone who loves each other has to grow old together. Sometimes they have to grow apart. Don’t fret about that eerie fact. Remember that to love is to give a piece of yourself. But if love fails, still thank each other for each’s generosity! If you are meant to be, nature will find a way to bring you back together again. If not, perhaps that’s for the best.
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