Friendship Attained the Long Way Around the Barn

I Remember Everything

Shared by princessovino.

We couldn’t have been more different. He was younger. I should know exactly how many years but that’s what happens when he speaks. I get buzzed by the tone and tenor of his voice that sometimes the words get lost. The deep rumble of something so manly. A feeling from deep secret fantasies takes over my senses. I think he’s 38 to 44 to my 50. Maybe? Dumb, I feel so dumb I don’t know exactly. He’s a gorgeous black man, model gorgeous face, chiseled features and strong jaw. Shiny black skin that begs to be touched. Just tall enough and a wiry muscular build with abs that have those cool sexy cuts right into the waistband of his jeans. Weak kneed i always had to avoid staring. Pecs that you could feel the heat radiating from. I was perpetually wet thinking about his hard body.

I first saw him in my own house. Steven had him helping him do something. Steven used him to be the man he just wasn’t, but he paid him with his parents money and that seemed to be an equitable trade. The time they went to Sutter Creek with a trailer and emptied my entire storage unit was interesting. I had been drunk for over a week, and was now sick and detoxing. My oh so loving boyfriend brings me all my things out of storage and just left it wide open for the storage landlord to find. Took the lock and all. It still sits in my pencil holder, a reminder of the controlling asshole I never want to get involved with again. His mom bought my washer and dryer and somehow I managed to fit all the other things in my place.

This man, Stevens helper was kind and gentle asking me where I wanted things and gingerly moving them to where I suggested. He seemed embarrassed for me. Steven was gruff and made me drink. Not what I needed, but of course I drank it.

Over the next few years he helped Steven do many chores. Cars, Steves parents siding, lawn work, oh, the piano, we can’t forget the piano. He moved it by himself, A 1920’s player piano, stainless steel insides, hard rock maple outsides, 3,000 pounds at least. Steve was there but, mostly just in the way. That’s when I melted and knew I wanted him to touch me someday.

My dui conviction happened, my arrest happened, I’m on six months house arrest, Steven was awful. Totally losing it and going in between being satan and the second coming of Christ. Back and forth he would go. Every day a dramatic crazy scene I never knew what to expect. Sheriffs deputies a regular fixture, I let him stay because I had no transportation, no way to get through the house arrest and couldn’t afford to live there alone. Finally, enough!

I kick Steven out, kacey moves in, I try to remain civil with Steven. One day I call his friend Derek. He comes to help me out. We talk, I bleed all over him about Stevens mental instability. He is the best listener I’ve ever met. We hug when he leaves and I know he and I are going to fuck. Sooner rather then later and I can not wait. I played coy but not very well. We had the best sex of my life. He didn’t walk out my door until 5 am, we never left the living room. The couch was drenched in my fluids. Oh my God, this was great.

He told me I was beautiful, told me I was smart, that I could do anything and I believed him. I wanted him to be there all day everyday in my bed, kissing me, loving me, no one told me that wasn’t how this worked. It was sex and when we could we had it. But it was rushed and at weird times of the day and night. It was great but it was far from the boyfriend / girlfriend thing I had always had and I didn’t know what to do or how to proceed.

Steven went nuts (what a shock) when he found out. Now mind you he thinks we had been fucking but I never really said we had. I used the term “gotten close”. Derek decided that the drama didn’t fit in his life and told me he thought it best we not “hang out” devastated I got it and Steven seemed to be having more and more sane days. I got him back to playing, me to singing, we were not together but getting along.

A few awkward social moments but we all managed, well, Derek and I managed to be grown ups. I moved and the strong manly man showed up as promised. I adored him for saying he’d be there and by God there he was. He hugged me as I told him how I cried when the piano got dragged away. Steven had laughed and said poor baby sarcastically. Derek knows my furniture better then I do by now.

My new place brought promise and finally the real end to Steve and I. New job, new digs and a promise to myself to really get to know this guy who makes my heart skip a beat. He visits one night it’s a great hug. Our energy together is so magical. So intense. His hugs thaw any bad feelings I’ve ever had. We fuck. And we take a nice quiet trip to the country. I’m smitten. My kids think he’s great. And my friends notice I’m happy. So, what’s the problem? Apparently I come on too strong. He says he’ll call, he calls when he knows I’m at work tells me to call him, he doesn’t answer yet he texts.

I’m not expecting flowers or dinner dates, all I want is for us to build a friendship. End of trip. I say tell me how we can keep getting to know one another, have this great sex when we can make it work and just leave it there. I’ll gladly not see you for months if you just say hey how ya doin’? Once in awhile. All I want is to hear your guitar, let me sing a little Nora jones or Duffy. Jewell, Miranda lambert, Alanis, it’s all good. Let me be there for you. Be there if I’m scared or stuck. Be my friend. I’ll support you in your efforts and endeavours if you but give me a smile, a nod, a good girl.

It’s all I want, I thought it was all I asked for. Let’s talk. Find out about me. There’s so much I want to know about you.

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