My Almost Lover

Shared by myhappinessisanallegory.

“She missed him.In the most crazy, strange, beautiful way.
She loved him.In the most innocent way of loving someone.”

It was so different.Staying there, looking at nothing in particular, aching to see him. To see his face, to see the spark in his eyes. Most of all, to see his beautiful, compelling smile. It was heartbreaking, yet sweet.

Somewhere deep down she knew that he was not even thinking about her, but it was pointless. She loved him.That was the harsh truth: she loved him so much and it felt right. For the first time in her life it felt so right that tears began to ran down her face. If only he knew…but she was too afraid to tell him and he was so far away and this whole thing was screwed up. She was not supposed to love him and she didn’t plan on it. It just happened.

It was so gentle the way he cracked little by little the walls guarding up her heart. It was so gentle it made her cry. I don’t think there was a point to it. Her crying was more like releasing the past pain because she was happy. She didn’t want him to know, to find out that he was the reason she was crying , that his gentle, sweet words made her feel so special that tears welled up in her eyes. Like she was the most precious diamond.

She didn’t even know what she wanted. She was at loss of words and this didn’t make any sense because she was never at loss of words. Like her whole life had been a serious of messed up events that shattered her and there he was being a blessing in her screwed up path. A light in the darkness.

She didn’t even think she deserved him. He was so great, gentle and kind and there she was all messed up with a lot of broken pieces,rough edges and ten feet tall walls guarding up her heart. How could this ever happen?

She didn’t even trust him enough, but he did and she felt so damn guilty.So damn guilty for talking to him, so damn guilty for not trusting him, so damn guilty for everything. Most of all, she felt so damn guilty for loving him.

If she could sum up everything in shorter sentences it would sound like this: she loved him and it scared her.

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