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lingering

Shared by katterinakapri

I work mornings at a convenient store and I get off around two, so I will have enough time to get to my current city to pick up my daughter from school. The line can get pretty long, so I just head to school from work and sit there for about an hour until three thirty comes around – that is about what time she gets in the car. After I get Karma from school, we head to the house for something to drink and only to snack on about two chocolate chip cookies.

Freshening up and changing out of my work clothes, I am ready to head off to see my boyfriend.

Me: Karma I am leaving, do you want to go or stay here and watch Spongebob?

Karma: Where are you going?

Me: To see my boyfriend, do you want to go?

Karma: No

Me: Ok, I will be back

I am then ready to head to my boyfriends house after knowing he was in the hospital, but before I got down there, he was released and on his way to get his medication, so I decided to wait for him at his place.

He shows up and we go inside to sit in the living room and figure out his medicine – everything is going smooth at this point. His mom starts making cornbread only to find out she does not have eggs.

She runs to the store and we go lay down in his room, so he can get some rest

Me: You need to lay down and get some rest

Him: No

Me: Babe, you need your rest

Him: I thought you weren’t leaving until eight

Me: I’m not, but you need to go to sleep – Will you go to sleep for me?

Him: No, my mom will just wake me up when she gets back

I layed there, running my fingers through his hair, making him feel love, comfort, secure, relax and helping him in every way possible. He fell asleep a little and then what happened, his mom showed up.

I wanted to be there while he was sick, I know there isn’t much I could do, but I hope I made him feel relaxed (and or better).

Here it turns out for the worst

She returns with a few groceries and tells us that his stepdad is there, which means we had to go back to the living room. He grabs a pillow – I scoot over to the far end so he could lay in my lap and I continued to communicate and relax him as it could possibly get. A couple minutes later, his stepdad is sitting outside and wants to talk to him – what could he possibly want to talk about after his mom just griped at him for having company while he is sick?

He goes outside and talks to his stepdad while his mom is in the kitchen – she walks through the living room a couple times before stopping and saying, “the next time, you need to ask my son if it is OK for you to come over.” 

I am a sensitive person, I can tell the different tones of someones voice – this made me want to cry right off the back, but I didn’t – I held it in. She walks back outside and stays out there after his stepdad is done talking to him, he comes back in:

Me: I think I am going to go ahead and go

Him: OK

I sat there staring in his sick eyes – I knew he could see my eyes tear up and he knew exactly what was wrong with me.

Me: I am going to go ahead and go

Him: It’s not your fault

Talking about his mom griping for having company while he is sick and his step dad wanting to talk to him

Me: OK

I begin to cry

Him: Did my mom say anything to you while I was out there?

Me: Yes

Him: What did she say?

Me: I just want to go

In a crying, low whispering talk, he could barely hear me

Him: What?

Me: I just want to go

Him: It’s not your fault – I love you

Me: I love you too

I get up to walk outside and his mom and stepdad are sitting outside in each other car, doing I do not know what.

He walks me to my car and I had my head down to only avoid confrontation – I hop in and he tells me He loves me – its amazing how much he loves me and how much he tells me he loves me – I wouldn’t change it.

He usually doesn’t kiss me around his parents, but this day, he just didn’t seem to care.

As I am leaving, I began to message him – I only go to the end of his road to let out the rest of what I was holding in. I was over this day and night and just wanted to wake up to a better day.

I began to go to sleep, right before I closed my eyes, the house phone rings – who could it be at nine o’clock at night on a school night – Dad. Why did he wait until nine at night to call, instead of earlier during the day? That question beats me, but what did he call to talk about? That question may shock us all – my ex.

Dad: I am not going to tell you what to do, but I am going to say this

Me: Ok

If you know me and my dad conversations, I usually just say ok – I know he is my one and only dad and we should have more to talk about, but I do not know how to communicate well.

Dad: I do not know why you broke up with your ex, he was better for you than the guy you’re dating now.

It may sound sad when your one and only dad says that the guy you’re dating now isn’t better than your ex, why did he think this?

Dad: Yeah, your ex had a car and a job, but the guy you’re dating now, knows more about life than you do – he knows what he is doing.

Isn’t that a good thing, that my boyfriend knows more about life than my ex? He knows how it is to live on his own and how to manage money, I must say, this is a plus in my book. Why didn’t he see it this way?

Does my boyfriend now have a car – no

Does my boyfriend now have a job – yes

Does my boyfriend stay in his own place – no and neither does my ex

To the people who don’t know me and to the ones who do, I am not worried about money or if they have a job or a car. What matters to me is if you have a great personality, a kind of heart, someone who we both can be ourselves around and no pretending – Happiness.

I was fed up with what dad had to say

Me: Can I go to bed?

Dad: What’s Karma doing?

The conversation changed instantly

Me: She is sleep

Dad: Oh OK

I was done with all the conversations for this day, it was time to go to bed and wake up for a better tomorrow.

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