Heartbeat: Should I Tell You?
Shared by theconstantstar.
I remember how it went down that afternoon.
I remember how your eyes were full of wonder and curiosity.
I remember me breaking. I remember it, perhaps all too well.
I stood there with shaking hands, nervous of what was to come; but you held yourself with so much grace. It was amazing how you captured all of me with your presence.
Your eyes were wondering about what I was going to say. You straight forwardly told me that you had to leave but I stopped you. I had to let you know I felt.
You stood there in shock after I told you my feelings. I remember you nervously searching for words to say. Then you said it- the rejection. Oh how it hurt. It tore me apart. After three years of gathering enough strength to tell you, I managed to get my heart broken in five minutes.
I cried. Your friends saw me in my weakest point. I knew they felt sorry for me and one of them apologized in your behalf. But it wasn’t your fault. None of it was. I loved you. It was mine.
You called that evening. You asked me how I was doing and I told you I was fine. You asked if I had cried and I denied everything. I couldn’t let you know how broken I was. I couldn’t handle you knowing about it. I wanted your love, not your pity.
That was three years ago. I have loved you for five years now. I bet you don’t even have a clue. I promised to rebuild myself. I owe it to myself to achieve my dreams and aspirations. I owe it to myself to become whole again. Even if it meant struggling along the way.
I made a promise to myself that after I graduate, I would tell you how I feel. Not to remind you of what took place three years ago, but to thank you for making me learn things the hard way. I would tell you I still love you after all these years and that I’m not asking for anything in return. I will tell you how my love for you has pushed me to become a better person, how it has pushed me to achieve all that I have now. I will tell you how the pain I experienced made me whole.
Am I making the right choice here? Should I tell you? I don’t know just yet; but I do know that I love you after all these years. I’m patiently waiting that maybe someday the universe will let us have our chance. But just in case we won’t happen… should I tell you everything?
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