A Love That Grows

alovethatgrows

Shared by smithbianca

I didn’t really have to think about it. I just said yes. I had no idea what I was getting myself into. But I knew how I felt and I felt so happy and so alive. So I said yes.

We spent the next 7 months talking every SINGLE day all day as much as we could. I had “jet lag” that just happened to wake me up at 530am everyday (1030am Dublin time) and we also found ourselves on Skype till 11/12 in the evening Jersey time (4/5 am Dublin time). We were NUTS. Absolutely nuts. And there were a few times that I thought this was abnormal, but really for the  most part I just did what I did.

When Christmas came that year I was more excited than usual because shortly after we were to be reunited. Well WHATTT a reunion it was.

On December the 28th I woke up at 6 am to drive myself up to Boston Logan airport. I had a few things to do up at school and I was driving back home that night so I left early. As I drove the sun rose and it was absolutely beautiful. It was like a sign of the beautiful times that were to come. Little did I know.

Four pm finally rolled around and it was time to drive to the airport. I didn’t know how to feel to be honest but I was SO EXCITED to not be on my phone all day.

I sat outside the arrivals platform and waited for the call. I had given pretty half-a**ed directions so I was living on a prayer that I would get a call within minutes.

I got a call from a random number after a while and no sound…!!!!!! I was freaking out. What if something happened ?! I called my dad panicking and he started to tell me how my plan was flawed. So I hung up of course lol. And then THANK GOD I did because I got another phone call and I answered it and rannnn inside the airport looking around. Next thing I know someone hugs me from behind and that is it. The craziest time of my life was about to begin.

We drove home and the time flew because we were just chatting away. There was snow everywhere and every five minutes I had to avoid a giant slow avalanche flying off of someone else’s roof. We got home and hung out with my parents. It was so great to be in the same place again. And to be in my place. With my family. Everything was perfect.

The next week and a half flew by. And over that week and a half a love developed that I truly did not see coming. But I know now that it must have been there a while because when we were on our own it came so naturally to us to love each other. Before we saw each other again I had no idea any of this would have happened but by the end of the trip (3 weeks later) we were together. A few days before our ominous parting we decided to make it official. I had to ask to be asked out lol but it was because my other half knew that it would be impossible to live without knowing we were together.

How did it happen? Well we went to dinner and decided it was time to talk about what had been going on. We knew that we were going to be separated soon, and we also had been going with the flow up until this point but we couldn’t leave it like that going forward. So over some chicken parm and lasagna we decided to suss it out. I asked if we were allowed to see other people, and if I was with someone else how that would work out? After a long pause I received a response that basically was – HECK NO YOU CANNOT GET WITH ANYONE ELSE. Lol it wasn’t spelled out so clearly, but it was a brave moment because it took a lot of courage to speak up and say… em nope I don’t want that. I would hate that. So then I said … well then it’s like we are together… but you haven’t asked me out yet. – HINT HINT lol. After another pause… “Will you go out with me?” Me: hahahhah no…. Yes!

We went home from dinner holding hands and being happy. The way that couples should.

After only a few days together as a couple, it was time to say good bye. We went together to the airport and I think I felt sick the entire time. We had written letters to each other before we left so that we’d have something to hang on to and so I knew that was waiting for me when I got back to my lonely room. I felt like a piece of my heart was getting on a plane and leaving.

We proceeded to suffer through a year of super long distance- 3000 miles and 5 hours long distance- just surviving off of the adrenaline of the last happy moment.

I was living on my phone. My life was in my phone. My Love was in my phone. What else could I do? I felt constantly torn between two worlds. My reality and my cyber world- where such a powerful, passionate and unwavering love existed. I also had my doubts because this was new territory for me in so many ways. Being across an ocean didn’t make it any easier obviously.

Over that next year I’d say we spent about $5000 on travel between us. Just flying back and forth to see each other. I had plans to fly over end of February and ended up having to have surgery after a dance injury so the plans got changed quickly and flight plans were made in the opposite direction. I don’t know where I would have been without that visit. Being together is what got me through that absolutely horrible time in my life. After graduation in May we were reunited again for 1.5 weeks 2 MONTHS! HAH! We planned a trip that ended up lasting 2 months because we couldn’t bare to leave each other after only 1.5 weeks- so flights were canceled and rescheduled and everyone was just going to have to deal with our spur of the moment plans. We had most of the summer together as I flew over to Ireland then that August for 6 weeks. We were lucky. But we were broke.

After my summer trip to Ireland it was back home for 4 months… our longest stretch of time since the beginning of it all. It had to be done though because college was back on in Dublin and I was set to work for the next while so that I could save up for a visa to Ireland. I had to go back. I always knew I wanted to go back- for myself, my love of the country and my dancing. But now the draw was huge. My relationship could be whole again if I was able to move over there for a while. I worked 3 jobs and saved up because I knew it was worth it. It was probably the hardest time of my life as I was going through PT, trying to get myself dancing again, working these jobs that I was massively overqualified for having just earned a degree in Neuroscience, and constantly checking my phone to see if I had any texts, calls or fb messages from the only person I wanted to be around.

I was LIVING for New Year’s Eve. It would be our second one together but this one would be even more amazing because we were together and we would finally physically be together after 4 months. Every time we were together it was like a dream. A pure fairy tale honestly. I couldn’t believe that there was someone in the world who could love me so much and every time we were together we were able to expand on it. It was like we spent the time apart cultivating a love that would only grow deeper and stronger with every visit together.

Any time I had my doubts, I would be worried that I couldn’t do this for much longer or I just didn’t want to do it anymore (which I think is normal), I would just think about how great it would be to finally be together again. And it really and truly was. When I answered that door on New Year’s Eve last year I was shocked. Shocked at how quickly all of that love just rushed back into me and how genuinely happy I was to see my babe again. It was unbelievable.

We had the most amazing 2 weeks in the states and this time… we went to the airport together. Back to Ireland as a couple, no more long distance.

 

We made it.

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