My Almost Lover
Shared by saremaj.
To my almost lover,
Admittedly, I am very angry right now. In fact, I’m so angry that I have pins and needles in my face and my hands are shaking. But either way, the realisation I’ve had today is amazing.
Today I realised that I don’t need you. I know that’s going to hurt, but it’s a very uplifting feeling for me to have after feeling so down and low over the past month. I don’t need the monster you’ve become.
As you know, I have never thought much of myself. I have never been one to believe in myself and think that I was worth anything. But, through all this shit, I have now realised what a good person I am, what I deserve and what exactly what I do need in my life.
The sad news is, it’s not you. You say you need me in my life and I am important, but people that feel so strongly about someone do not act as vile as you have. They do not make them feel like they are the lowest of the low and they certainly do not take everything they have, leaving them with nothing.
I believed you at first; that you were sorry, that you needed me in your life and that I was really important to you. But I don’t any more. I don’t think I believe anything that comes out of your mouth anymore. You have broken every promise you ever made to me, thus eradicating my trust for you. Don’t blame me for that, you have no one to blame but your self.
Thank you though.
Thank you for showing me what you’re truly like. I can only thank that you showed me now and not when we’re married, with children and had swamped over my entire life.
Thank you for making me realise I am a good person.
Thank you for showing me that I do deserve something good, something better than you’re pouring at me right now.
Thank you for helping me realise I do have people around me. People that do want to be there for me and support me.
I will always love you deep down, but I’m not sad about it anymore. Instead, I am ridiculously angry – though that anger has shifted slightly. Before I was angry about how you had done it, that all I deserved was a text. Now? I’m angry that you thought you could walk all over me and I wouldn’t say anything about it; I’m angry that you’ve talked to me like I’m not good enough.
Well you’re wrong, you’re not good enough if that’s what you think I deserve.
-The person that wasn’t good enough for you.
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