Meeting the Right Person at the Wrong Time
Shared by misssarahelizabeth94.
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I was 18, he was 19 and after a few weeks of chatting online, we met for real and it was like we had known each other for years rather than weeks. I fell for him hard, he was someone I could talk to about whatever. Almost like a boyfriend and a best friend.
We had both had bad experiences of first love, my first boyfriend had cheated and left me for someone else. His first girlfriend just wasnt who he thought she was.
The relationship became official after a few weeks of meeting up. I met his family and friends and he met mine. Everyone who saw us together commented on how happy we looked and we smiled each time because we were.
We carried on in this honeymoon type period for a while, untill August when I received my A-Level results. Before I met him, I had already picked out my chosen university and course, sorted out my student flat and signed up for a grant. And even though I was falling in love with this guy, I still wasnt giving up on my education.
We spoke a lot about it, and in the end we both said we wanted to make the commitment to a long distance relationship. We would skype after my uni day finished and he got home from work, and see each other on weekends no matter if I was at university or if I came back home.
For the fist term of uni up until Christmas it was fine. By no means was it perfect, we would argue about Skyping and where we would spend the weekend, but in the end it didnt matter because we were happy. Over Christmas we spent a lot of time with each other, enjoying the fact we were both sharing a first experience of spending a Christmas with a significant other.
It was when I went back to uni everything changed. I was swamped with uni work, he had his own job to deal with and his Mum also became really ill. We hardly spoke during the week and would sometimes miss a weekend not seeing each other because of the circumstances.
A few weeks of this and I felt him slipping away. I was in love with him and no way did I want to lose him so I tried my hardest to keep in contact. I neglected uni work and friends, and I also started looking at a university closer to him which had a similar broadcasting course.
However, in the last week of January, we barely spoke. There were no “I love you”, morning or night texts from him, and whenever I tried to ring he was always busy. That Friday, on the first of Feburary, he eventually rang for that first time that week and broke up with me.
He told me that the distance was too much, and everything was going on in terms of his life. He said he loved me but he didnt know how to keep it all going.
I was heartbroken. The next few weeks, we were actually in contact more than ever. He even said one time that he had made a mistake but it was too late for the relationship to keep on going. In the end, I was frustrated that he was getting my hopes up and dashing them, so we argued over text, and soon enough, we werent speaking any more.
Its been a year and a half since then and we still havent spoken. I’ve been in relationships and been with other guys but the honest truth is that I miss him and there is not one day that goes by without him crossing my mind. I miss my boyfriend and my best friend, and I also miss the friends I made through him and his parents who treated me like their own daughter.
I know that I should have properly moved on by now, but I really dont think that will happen. I think that there will always be some small part of me that continues to love him. He wasnt my first love but he was the first boy who truly opened my eyes into what love could do and how it felt.
Maybe in a few years, we might meet up again and reconnect, but till then I just have to go on through life I suppose.
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I don’t really believe in this phenomenon, “meeting the right person at the wrong time.” Mostly because I don’t believe that there’s such a thing as a ‘right’ time. Life is complicated. Things are always happening, things you can’t control. There may be periods of calm where it might seem ideal to meet someone, but those periods never last. And that’s the true test of a relationship, whether you guys can ride the storms in between the calm periods.
It may seem like it would have been different if you hadn’t been separated by distance. But your mom still would have fallen ill, and that places a tremendous strain on people. There never will be a perfect time for a relationship. No two lives will ever overlap 100%, and no relationship will go without its tests or outside influences. If someone is a really good match for you, and you’re truly in love, you find ways to make it work. That might not be apparent when you’re so young, and not having the life experience to realize or intuit these things is one of the great hardships of youth.
I don’t know whether it will be possible for you two to reconnect, and if you do I don’t know whether it will be the same, like you’re picking up right where you left off. It’s impossible to say. But I hope you’ve learned from the experience, and I hope some of my advice sticks, and I wish you the best of luck going forward.
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As for me, whether I believe in this ‘phenomenon’ does not matter neither whether I believe in a ‘true test’. Not only is this your world, your life, your experience and your view on how things work, it’s also a story that could bring any man (with a heart) to tears. You shared a great and inspiring story with the world; a story that many a man would be afraid to share. You opened up your heart, your mind and soul.
So many questions I would like to ask you, but I guess time will only tell and I am looking forward to all those great stories you might post and maybe have some of my questions (and maybe they’re the same as yours) answered.
Take good care of yourself.
Mike
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Thank you for sharing your story, I’m sure it took a lot to put yourself out there, and to be so vulnerable. Well the hard part is over, now your story is out there, there’s no turning back.
For me I don’t quite agree with your statement, “meeting the right person at the wrong time.” From your story it sounds as though he had many of the qualities you are looking for. However I would say that the test of your relationship isn’t just when things are great? How do you handle conflict and disagreement? How do your goals align, do you hinder each other or do you help each other by being together. It sounds like you had a lot in common, and people thought you were great together. For me why I don’t think it was the wrong time is because what you can gain from that relationship.
It sounds like you’re heart broken, and you missed being together even after all this time.
It sounds like he gave you a few pieces to the mold of a “right person” but from the way it ended, it sounds like you were also missing a few pieces. So why not use that going forward, now you have an idea of what makes you feel loved and happy. Now look for a person who has a few more pieces to the puzzle.
While it takes many qualities to make a relationship work, here are a few things to ponder. Your relationship should be mutually beneficial, meaning you should help each other get to your desired goals. Life happens, so sometimes there’s conflict, sometimes there’s great pain and loss. A strong and healthy relationship should be able to survive this. Of course you don’t want to intentionally put your relationship through tests. As life throws things your way, you should be able to weather the storms.
Good luck, I hope what I said makes sense, and that we can hear a story of triumph sometime down the road 😀
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I feel like I may be in a similar situation, I was in a relationship with a guy who I would say that was absolutely perfect for me and then we broke up and I can’t even bare to be friends with him. This all happened about a month ago and I still feel like a huge hole is missing in me. I had never had such strong feelings for someone before. I miss him SO much, like it’s really numbing. I know that we broke up for the right reasons, but I have to block him from my life. Otherwise I wont move on. I completely understand how hard it is to move on, but I think that you really need to consider seriously doing that. You can’t make a good future for yourself if you are constantly looking back, and you deserve that!
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Always have hope.
Chemistry is everything, but it always comes down to timing.
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you’re young and there will be other guys. i’m glad you didn’t give up on going away to school which was your original plan. certain love stories just happen to be short stories and there is nothing wrong or right about that. get out there in your university and i’m sure you’ll meet someone on weekends
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