I Remember Everything

I Remember Everything

Shared by saremaj.

A few weeks ago, I was inspired by the weekly word challenge of writing memoirs. One of the suggestions was ‘it was the worst times’ and it got me thinking about what I could write. It’s not about a ‘worst time’ for the most part. it’s about a really happy time of my life that doesn’t exist anymore, hence the link to ‘it was the worst time’. It was the best 424 days of my life.

I’ve been thinking very negatively about the time I’ve been going through and want to try and remember the good times that I had. So here is the I remember memoirs, going from the best to the worst day of my life.

 

I remember the first day you kissed me. I remember wondering all night if you were just being you or if you were actually into me. I remember every time you touched me that night, every time your hands brushed my skin. I remember lying on my bed, looking deep in your eyes and thinking that nothing else mattered. I remember you kissing me and feeling on top of the world.

I remember asking you why you did it, because I didn’t ever think anyone like you would want me. I remember being terrified that you had got it wrong and you had made a mistake. I remember not being able to sleep from feeling on top of the world.

I remember how perfect it felt to be wrapped in your arms every time you hugged me. I remember how nothing else mattered the first time, and every other time, I lay on your chest, my head fitting perfectly into the space.

I remember the first time you told me you loved me. I remember not knowing what to do or what to say. I remember you being so understanding because I wasn’t ready to say it back. I remember looking into your eyes every time you told me but not being able to get the words out. I remember telling you how I felt and you telling me how happy it made you. I remember how amazing it was to hear you say those words, the changed my mood instantly.

I remember all the times we hung out. I remember feeling the happiest person alive, every single minute I spent with you. I remember laughing with you. I remember wanting to smile non-stop, even when I was mad with you. I remember fighting with you, but loving you even more every single time. I remember all the places that mean ‘us’ to me and not being able to go near them now.

I remember you promising you’d never leave me. I remember you telling me you saw me in your future. I remember thinking I knew I’d found the most amazing person in the world. I remember telling you that you were also in my future. I remember telling you that and meaning it unconditionally. I remember thinking you were my family now and I remember how happy I felt that the feeling was reciprocated.

I remember making you wait for weeks. I remember how amazing it was when it finally happened. I remember feeling so bad incase I had ruined your beliefs. I later remember feeling on top of the world that you trusted me that much. I remember being on top of the world because it happened.

I remember all the times we fought but I remember loving you so much through all of them. I remember them making us stronger. I remember going strength to strength. I remember forgiving you and telling you I love you so much after them. I remember wanting to just scream at you how much I loved you through every minute of every disagreement. I remember wanting to tell you how none of it mattered because we had each other.

I remember that you are my perfect partner in crime. I remember all the goofy inside jokes we made. I remember telling other people and them looking at me like I was crazy. I remember not caring about what they thought. I remember every single thing we made that was ours.

I remember feeling more confident with you by my side. I remember my negativity getting in the way. I remember you treading on that negativity and making me a more positive person. I remember how you fixed everything that hurt me and took it away. I remember how you made me a better person. I remember you being my rock.

I remember messing up. I remember that none of it mattered. I remember you always reassuring me that I hadn’t messed up. I remember you saying you’d forget it and always be by my side. I remember all the tears. I remember you wiping them up and making everything better again. I remember how one kiss on the forehead changed everything that was happening and I remember how it made me forget. I remember you being my rock.

I remember believing every word you said to me. I remember trusting you with my life. I remember loving every inch of your body, with every inch of mine. I remember caring for you. I remember adoring you more than I have anyone else. I remember you being (and still being) the most important person in my life. I remember that I still love you like that, if not more, every single day, even though now we’re apart.

I remember briefly forgetting all these good things. I remember you restoring them for me. I remember you forgetting. I remember how much it has broken my heart. I remember telling you I’d fight.

I remember all these things, and more. I remember that it’s my negativity that pushed you away. I remember thinking I wasn’t worth someone like you, that I didn’t deserve you. I remember pushing you away. I remember you not coming back to me. I remember you giving up on me. I remember fighting for you – still fighting for you.

I remember telling you I believe you’re the person I want to be with for the rest of my life. I remember telling you I’d wait. I remember how much I love you and how great we are for each other. I remember you forgetting. I remember that I still hope that you will remember. 

I remember that I still love you like the first time I told you. I remember that I love you even more than that. I remember telling you all these things. I remember that I will never forget how much I love you.

I remember that I will always be here, waiting for you. I remember every single good thing about us, every positive thing that happened. I remember wishing I wasn’t such a negative person and I remember regretting pushing you away. I remember how much I care for you, every single minute of every single day.

I remember thinking I’m an idiot for holding on but I remember not caring.

I remember forgetting all of this when you went home. I remember realising how much of an idiot I am for doing that.

I remember how perfect you are.

I remember how you are my whole world. I remember trying to get you to remember. I remember you forgetting how much we mean to each other. I remember you forgetting the real us. I remember forgetting the real us too, but now I remember.

I will always remember how happy you made me. I will always remember that I think we belong with each other. I will always remember regretting what I have done. I will always remember hating every inch of my body for pushing you away and I will always remember how much I love you, and you love me.

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