Goodbye

goodbye

Shared by lizziearias.

I fell in love, you fell in love with the idea of love.

It’s very clear now where your state of mind is and has been the past few months, your only priority and effort has been directed at keeping me oblivious of your state of mind on our relationship, your new plans and the reasons for our lack of harmony and intimacy.

Your long distance job required us to be more careful, more loving and more trusting. You did the opposite, smelling freedom like a shark smells blood in the water. I had no reason to believe that once away you would start to become dissatisfied with our normal family life comparing yourself to the younger hotshots at work who travel, party and spend what they like. Your great job, once a source of happy plans, has become the reason for resentment. School fees, bills and family responsibilities now chafe and you have decidedly become “uncool” to yourself.

When we met you said you were ready for commitment, now you have been paving the way to get out as painlessly as possible by sabotaging communication, harboring resentment and creating mistrust all in the hopes that I might make the move to release you from your prison.

Feeding off your envy of others, You have chosen the way of the coward, utilising every weapon in your arsenal of drama, blame, and wild accusations, you have turned me into the bad guy to bring about your will and deflect blame ever your modus operandi when you are in the wrong.

Did I ever see the real you? I think I made you up.

“I have to put me first now”, your final words to me today as if you had suffered so much at the hands of a supportive, loving partner who instead of leaving at the first sign of this Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde chose to weather the storm out of love. Lying, manipulation and hearing from your mouth horrible things you can never take back, should have ended it but I chose to endure the harsh treatment because I hoped you would come around and discover the value of a family.

I cant make you love us, I wanted you to be who you were pretending to be before you realised this wasn’t the life for you and started fighting commitment tooth and nail. We were good enough for you when you liked the look and feel of a responsible family man, but now you are ready for your new costume.

Good luck with this split personality thing, I’m just kicking myself for letting you cut your teeth on me with your first “real” relationship while “playing house”.

You will be taking those behaviours with you and it’s going to be painful when you realise that your priorities have been misguided and you lack the substance and selflessness required when you find someone you really love. You will drive her away as you did me, because the grass is always greener on the other side and because you love yourself too much or not enough.

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