Heartbeat: Why Are Girls Strongly Drawn to Bad Boys?
Shared by Shewhoquotes.
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Are women predisposed to see men with dark personalities attractive? Although wisdom asserts that women should beware of men who say and do the proper thing with too much ease, they often can’t help but see them utterly appealing. Sometimes the appeal of a bad boy is too arduous to resist. Like many women, we have an illogical soft-office for massive jerks. At that point is something that intrigues us about bad boys that we find colossally appealing, yet though we often regret the experience afterward. Bad boys come in all forms and sizes. Like James Dean for example, he is the custom of a smoldering sex appeal. My first was an epitome of a bad boy. He was captivating in every manner. From that boyish grin that disarms me in seconds into his muscular arms that says he knows precisely what his intentions are. “The bad boy with a touch of vulnerability who leaves you breathless and steals your heart.” a line I once read.
Maybe I’ve become accustomed to disappointment. Maybe I’m addicted to the surge of feeling every time I get encountered with one. Maybe i’m comfortable to their kind of safety. Maybe I am so habituated to being independent that I’ve become scared to let someone really be there for me. Maybe I invite this character of person into my life that lacks attention and love.
Or maybe I simply haven’t run into the right “nice guy” yet?
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This right here is an awesome post, and I really do not know why too. Are they just that awesome, or we haven’t met too many potential rights from the ‘nice guys’ category yet? I once wrote a post about this too, where when faced with the situation of whom to choose between the nice guy and the bad guy, your heart hops for the latter; while your head opts for the former. It’s just plain crazy!
For me, I’ll say nice guys are often too boring, monotonous. Especially for a nice girl who’s spent almost all her life in too much niceties.. She’ll do so much to get a spark of unusual. Plus asides that, I don’t know how bad guys do it but they are always so comfortable in their skin, and that’s one major turn-on. They present so much mystery, and every experience with them is a delight to look forward too.
But then again, maybe it is just our mindsets. We have completely written the nice guys off, that our minds won’t even let them register in the good book if they happen to meet up to our expectations. Bottom line, ‘bad guys’ rock. And nice guys? They are just very nice! 😀
Nice post.
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I can’t quite add much beside to what you said because I couldn’t concur more. Thank you!
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I think part of the reason why women tend to find “bad boys” appealing is because they’re unpredictable. We probably like the mystery, and the fact that we have to do more to get their attention. And once we do get their attention, it’s a “reward” or approval stamp of our worth. Sometimes we just think a “bad boy” would be exciting. However, I do think that this attraction is short-lived. Because at the end of the day, even though this “bad boy” may be interesting and mysterious, if he’s not treating you with love and kindness like you deserve, then he’s not worth it. I think once you get past the “tough exterior”, many women are also hoping that this “bad boy” image will change into something that is more suitable for a long term relationship. We think that with the right amount of love and care, that we can change this bad boy to be husband material! And that reasoning is quite absurd. Perhaps it’s because of all the trashy romance novels and cliche movies we watch that we think it’s possible. More times than not, you cannot change a person if that is who they truly are.
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I most definitely agree with you. We’re simply too blind to actually accept such fact. For bad boys changing to something for a long term relationship, that is. Hence we intend to deceive ourselves instead. Indeed, it’s merely that our figment of imaginations controls our feelings towards something leading to a higher expectation.
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Isn’t it silly that we seem to hold high expectations to those who are unwilling or unable to uphold them? While we can write off others who ARE capable of fulfilling our emotional needs
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It is yet we learn from it. Nonetheless, that’s what I’m currently doing at present.
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Congrats and good luck! You can do it 🙂
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(If you mean that you are trying to learn from it) I may have read your comment wrong!
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I think it’s limiting and wrong to generalize behaviors by supposing they’re specific to a gender. I know many women, myself among them, who’ve never sought anybody but kind, responsible, intelligent men. Similarly, I know a lot of nice men who have no problems finding girlfriends.
So really the reasons for choosing whomever you end up with, ‘nice guy’ or ‘bad boy’, is quite individual. Why are YOU choosing the bad boy? Maybe because there’s a certain contrarian thrill? Maybe because there’s a built-in excuse for the failure of the relationship and you don’t have to examine your own faults when that failure inevitably happens? Maybe because some part of you subconsciously thinks you don’t deserve better (that part of you would be wrong, if so)? Maybe because you think you can help them be better people?
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As for me, I have a strong desire to make things better, to help him. Not a strong basis for a marriage or relationship. Describes my 2nd marriage. Doomed from the start, because he betrayed me in a most offensive way. My blame, I was old enough to know better.
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Jenny, you are fortunate among women to have a clear head.
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Very kind assessment, but probably only true in certain areas!
This does have me wondering though – do people ever say the reverse? “Why do men like mean women so much”? I don’t feel like they do with as much frequency as “Why do women like assholes?”
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Man don’t express themselves like we do. Well very few anyway. If you’re around long enough you do observe relationships where women are extraordinarily difficult.
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It’s often times Genesis relived. The dangerous, forbidden etc… is what we are lured to. Sometimes it can lead to some very dangerous situations and other times depending, it can lead to tears, lot of art, creativity, and introspection, as well as a love that stays in your heart forever.
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You have a point and i approve. Loved your last sentence.
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thank you.
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Hearing the responses on here has been very interesting and enlightening.
As a man, I’ve often wondered about this. I am definitely not a “bad boy” but I’m also not simply a “nice guy.” I simply am who I am, and like any other human being my feelings and attitude change from day to day, moment to moment. But overall, I would say that fundamentally I treat everyone with respect and as I would like to be treated. That isn’t being “nice”–it’s simply being a decent human being.
Anyway, as far as I can tell, this whole attraction to “bad boys” is really a social construct and nothing more. It’s nothing but good ol’ gender roles. Because when you stop to think about it, the “bad boys” that women find themselves attracted to often embody what our society defines as traditionally masculine: too tough to cry, stoic, physically strong, brooding, into dangerous things, etc. There’s nothing inherently attractive about these features, and there certainly isn’t anything that would provide an evolutionary advantage here–even “nice guys” can be physically strong. I’d be willing to bet that 5,000 years ago this whole “bad boy mystique” didn’t exist. It’s a modern phenomenon, and it’s completely driven by how we culturally define masculinity.
Of course, that’s also completely ridiculous. There’s a lot more to “being a man” than refusing to cry, loving sports, and going out with the guys instead of watching a chick flick with your significant other.
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Preach to what you stated, sir. I salute your words. The thing is that nowadays, in such generation, we become too blind to actually think deeply about this. We abide by our instinct instead. Nevertheless, thank you for comment.
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I bloody knew it. I am at nice guy and nobody wants me, they always want to see the bad boys with their modified cars and crazy hairdo a member of a gang or something. They just like the danger of an ejjit.
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Saying “nobody”, here I can say but that you’re amplifying. I myself am fond to nerds with an intelligent wit. They are invariably exotic and intriguing to me. And simultaneously, are the pure epitome of a “nice guy.” It’s never about the cars and all but it’s definitely about his position and status. And by status, I imply a decent, kind personality one with a degree and has goals to achieve to. We constantly look forward to men who are positive and successful. No doubting his sincerity on that score.
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When I say nobody, it probable gets me down a bit. But I am not giving up yet, wouldn’t say I’m a bad boy or a geek, just an ordinary guy.
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Fair enough.
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All I hear is potential drama. Keep it simple and fruitful, focus on your craft. Life will bring unpredictably trust me
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Sometimes it never works on the alternative.
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Its a bout ego, If you can get the attention of bad boy, you have accomplished something which will in turn feed your ego. I prefer nice guy to bad boy any day!. As women mature they need to realise that the boys they have been rejecting are the “real” men -a nice guy is a reliable, responsible, caring guy.
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Perhaps indeed.
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“Maybe I am so habituated to being independent that I’ve become scared to let someone really be there for me. ” —i feel this one’s real for me too..
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