Heartbeat: A Cry 4 Help, The Truth (Express Yourself)
Shared by agatewood6704.
I been with my husband for ten years, married for three.
I thought this love right here, was meant to be. I thought it
would last forever.
I thought he loved me. I thought he cared.
But, that was all a mistake, love don’t make you feel scared.
Even though he said “I Do” Til death do us part.
With him feels like death….
I believe and trusted in God that he will get better.
But Lord, if i only knew i would grow weaker.
Each up roar, brings down a mighty blow.
Each blow ends in separation. And each separation makes me
want to love him more.
It seems when I leave nothing seems to work. Well work fast enough. I still some way somehow still get abuse and used.
And it makes what he has done o.k. And not so big. But in
reality when it hits again, he almost took my life away.
But he is my husband, the father of my kids. Through thick and thin. Through good and bad. But why do the bad times got to be on me?
Why when I get the strength to leave. I be at my lowest low? Why when i get the strength to leave i have no where else to go? Why when I get the strength to leave i always stay?
Why must I have to choose? Why can’t i just stay? Why can’t he love me without the abuse?
I thought that I was his wife his world. But if you had a world you wouldn’t abuse it, you will nourish and love it.
I thought about it earlier when he left and went away, I stayed. I look back on when I was younger, those girls went the other way and moved on. Me, I stayed around for mines.
But when he came home he was never ever the same. And i still stay holding on, cause he always say, that he is going to change.
It goes good for a few months or so. Than here we go all over again.
The Last time was most recent. I went to jail, didn’t even do a thing, but the officer said since I came back she was going to arrest me too.
Feeling like life is shifting for the worse. Never thought that I would be in this condition.
One time I left and what I thought for good. But with no solid foundation you are bound to fall.
This time around, I’m handling my business, staying grounded.
Waiting on the door to open, so I can walk through.
Somethings are hard to admit. But the truth is i want to live, I don’t want to die. I want to be love and cherish. Not used and abuse.
I ask God do I stay or do I go? When I leave, I always end up right back with him.
So, than I said God, since he is my husband, I won’t leave ’til you make the provision for me to leave. I won’t go unless you take him away from me. ‘Cause when I go on my own, I fall right back into his arms.
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