Heartbeat: Is “Exclusively Dating” The New Title?
Shared by An Over-thinker Secret Romantic.
They say writing is liberating and for someone as expressive as me I decided to give it a shot; in addition I enjoy giving advice to others (particularly in the sentimental aspect) so maybe it’s time I ask for some advice back. The topic at hand: Titles
Long gone are the days where you basically had one of 2 options; either you were single or dating (aka, in a Relationship). However it seems to me like these days putting a label on things is considered the most dreadful thing in existence, particularly for men. I’m not trying to sound stereotypical but based on a recent personal experience as well as those of my closest gal pals it looks like men just won’t put a name on it (see what I did there?).
Excuses range from “why do we need a title? You know what we are” to “titles just complicate things” and “I’m just not ready for a relationship” (yet this last one does everything in the boyfriend book except call himself just that). So then us ladies are left in that awkward limbo of “what are we?” that only gets worse when outsiders ask the usual “so what’s the deal between you and (insert name here)?” leaving us not only with no accurate answer but with additional concerns about what we and this “significant other” are.
I find it amusing when the conversation takes place and we try explaining the situation, it goes a little like this: “well, we’ve been seeing each other for some time and I’m not seeing anyone else, neither is he but we’re taking it slow, although we’ve hooked up a few times, but we haven’t had sex yet so it’s not at that point, yet he has taken me out on a few dates, even tho he doesn’t really call them dates but he always ends up paying since he’s the man, although…”
Seriously people? Isn’t it easier to just say we are together or not? When did this whole thing become so complicated that we don’t even know what we got ourselves into? As if dating itself wasn’t tricky enough. Again I’m not trying to sound like one of those slightly butt-hurt girls who was seeing someone exclusively and then suddenly got told through text it was ending then and there, and it couldn’t be a break up since it wasn’t an official relationship… (Hint at my last personal experience). ENOUGH!!!
Want a sex partner? Let it be known, would want to see where things go with a girl with the mentality that you’d want to be in a relationship? Treat it as such, but for God sake stop with this whole limbo situation where you lure the girl in, take her out on dates, introduce her to family members, your friends not only know about it but hang with you guys as a couple, says things regarding falling in love and “what if I want to marry you”, only so every time she asks what this is it becomes a hide-and-seek game that ends with no winner and right back on square one.
Fair warning; this was written by a highly unexperienced-in-the-love-department 20 something gal that doesn’t believe in prince charming or the ultimate perfect guy, who uses sarcasm as her favorite shield yet deep down wants nothing but to have one of those corny-to-a-degree RELATIONSHIP with a man that knows what he wants (Hint: Labels Things properly) and values what he has in his woman. Realistically tho, is that too much to ask?
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