The Epidemic; PPS
A great feature post by Baroness Bogie.
Peter Pan, spotted here in San Francisco. Have you seen him?
He is all around you, every guy you pass on the street could be him. He could be dressed in a suit or in skinny jeans with a trendy mustache. However, he is not identifiable by his looks, he is by his behavior. And he is not in fact Peter Pan but an imitator. He is a grown man on the outside and a child on the inside. He is a BOY caught with an epidemic running rampant in the city of San Francisco, he suffers from Peter Pan syndrome. Sadly for the women of San Francisco, there is no known cure or treatment options. It is only on occasion that he outgrows it, generally after reaching the age of forty, graying, and losing most of his athletic ability, youthful metabolism and sharp looks.
This syndrome is found in males ranging from 28 upwards to mid 40′s.
Why am I writing about this you may wonder? Could it be that I fall in to that stereotypical category of many women who are just looking for:
A man to settle down with, Mr. Prince Charming? NOPE.
Is it because I am looking to put a GIANT ring on it? NOPE.
How about a baby? Clock is ticking for us women right? NOPE, not that either.
Perhaps simply a boyfriend of my own? NOPE. Wrong again.
Then why? What do I like many normal (hey lets face it were not perfect either and I have met a few crazies myself) San Franciscan woman want?
We want a man, not a fucking overgrown child.
I have seen it happen one too many times. I have experienced it personally and have painfully watch many of my girlfriends date these boys pretending to be men.
When I met Peter Pan he was at the end of his time at Neverland. He had spent a good fifteen years enjoying Neverland. When I met him, I was only 21, so of course it didn’t bother me a bit that he and his near forty friends liked to party, so did I. But after a few months I, the 21 year old, grew tired drinking weekend after weekend. I had wondered to myself, is it just his group of friends? It wasn’t until I moved here 4 years later that I realized he and his friends weren’t the only ones. It was everywhere in the city.
We dated off and on for short periods of time, I had a relationship in between and ironically enough that 25 year old was more mature than half the “men” in San Francisco combined (of course he wasn’t from, nor did he live in the city). During the last period of the off and on relationship I had with Peter Pan, I could see that he was ready to leave Neverland. He wanted to settle down with me. But why? Well it is likely because he had turned 40, all of his other friends had left the magical island, started families and he surely looked around and found himself alone. At 40, well your not 20, so that great body you thought would last forever didn’t and that endless line of women ready to bed you started to become empty.
So what does a Peter Pan do in this predicament- simple- find the BEST option and lock her down. Peter Pan looked at me one night during an all night wedding reception where the near forty bride and groom were doing drugs to celebrate their union (I never said all Wendy’s declined to stay on Neverland) and he said to me, “Lets do this, I can take care of you”. Take care of me ? He said “You would never have to worry, I would take care of you”. Well what did a 24 year old women early in her career, struggling each month to pay her bills say? She said “HELL NO”. Well I politely declined of course. I needn’t get into the details of why (self respect, my own career aspirations, the actual desire to take care of myself on my own). 9 months after my polite decline, Peter Pan who was ready to leave Neverland found a suitable Wendy and married her.
Then there are the more commonly found Peter Pans, ones who have just arrived to the magical island of Neverland, otherwise known as the 28-35 year boys. They are newbies, very often self entitled boys still with the silver spoons their mommies put in their mouths. Many of them still have mommy and daddy’s help paying for their frequent vacations to tropical islands and Vegas where the party is ALWAYS going. These newbies are under the false impression that as long is the world is turning (for them of course) that they will still continue to get play night after night from PYT’s and that they will keep that slowly disappearing 6, nope its now down to 4, pack that keeps those ladies lining up.
Meanwhile day by day fantastic women are passing them by going completely unnoticed because of the fear of commitment that keeps them shaking in their velcro strapped shoes. When I say fantastic I don’t just mean beautiful, she may be. I don’t mean young, although she could be as well. And I certainly don’t mean a woman with a five year plan that ends with a ring and a wedding. What I mean when I say fantastic women is motivated, intelligent and hard working. She stands on her own two feet and doesn’t depend on a man for her happiness. These women are happy already, the only thing a relationship would give them is more greatness in their already wonderful lives. They are happy on their own (a rare quality to find in either sex) and they take pride in being able to take care of themselves. If you haven’t figured it out by now, they are the women of our generation. These fantastic women don’t expect you to pay the bill, but would politely accept when a man refuses to split. They have a full life of their own that they would like to share. They do not want to trade in their lives just to glob onto another man’s, in fact, to a fantastic woman, that idea would make her want to throw up. She isn’t a leach, she is an individual worthy of a respectable MAN, not an over grown man child.
So what am I missing here? I don’t have a PHD in human relationships and I haven’t been anthropologically studying relationships for 10 years, but I have been observing. What I am truly curious about is if all men are intimidated by this breed of women, sane and successful. And is there a correlation between this and Peter Pan syndrome?
Its a mystery to me, and as much as I wish I had the answer, I don’t. If I did, it would surely removed the furrowed brows from so many female faces in the city. Until the mystery is solved, all I can do is offer advice to the boys sickened with PPS in the city of San Francisco. Its fairly simple in fact, boys all you have to do is:
GROW A PAIR OF BALLS
The choice is yours boys. Its not for me nor is it for the fantastic women you pass up everyday, it is yours and only yours to take or refuse. All I can do is remind those with PPS to be careful because before you know it you will wake up with an empty bed, a Firestone tire around your gut and an empty line of what used to be fantastic women and PYT’s. When you wake up and look in the mirror, you will be grayed and the years of partying will have taken their toll on you. Worst of all, there won’t even be average women around to date you. Why? Because no one but a desperate, insecure, sad and lonely person would be willing to date or marry a boy who has become an old man in the blink of his own eyes. No one wants a forever bachelor who spent his entire youth on the island of Neverland.
Women of this city, the fantastic ones with furrowed brows, what is my advice to you? Don’t settle for Peter Pan. Don’t put up with his childish antics. You will never change him, nor should you want to. There will be a man, yes a man, that deserves your greatness. He will not quiver in fear at the idea of commitment and will not run the opposite direction when he realizes you are a catch.
Until then ladies, keep living the fabulous life that you have be sure as hell not to forget some good advice that a dear friend once shared with me:
Mejor sola que mal acompañada
English translation: Better alone than in bad company
Do you love to write? If you have a story, article, post about dating or love, please Share your Heartbeat! We would love you feature your writing.