Heartbeat: Stuck Between Two Women
This guy is stuck! Towch shared his dilemma between two girls. Can you help him out?
It is important that I state the kind of person I am. I feel like I am too nice for my own good. Someone who would rather see others happen than myself.
I broke up with my ex a couple of months ago for reasons not too important to state. She was initially a mess and I felt bad because I broke it off, I couldn’t move on until I knew she was OK. She constantly wanted to get back together but I refused time and time again.
We remained friends at least I was when I felt she was ok but I believe that there was still some strong emotions on her end. The deal was we couldn’t have sex, we could hangout just talk. She talked to me about guys she had an interest in and I encouraged her (they never panned out).
Enter new girl in my life I like this girl very much, we do have problems which I discussed in my first post. We initially started going out until she ended things because she felt I still had feeling for my Ex (I would be lying if I said that I felt nothing but I was nothing that made me conflicted about pursuing something new).
Thing end with the New Girl. My feeling are very strong for the New Girl, I am very sad about it was I get she is protecting herself and I can understand that. Month goes by and my Ex is still in the picture during this period I have been constantly refusing to get back with her. She says that no other guys the talks to pans out because she only wants to be with me.
I give in and tell her that we will have to take its very slow, nothing has changed except my willingness to give it a go again and hangout a little. As soon as I make this decision, the New Girl that left comes back that she misses me. I do miss the New Girl and feel strongly for her than my Ex.
So the New Girl is in my life now and things rekindle so fast that she wants me to be her boyfriend again. Now I am shattered I want to be I couldn’t because of me agreeing to work on a relationship with my Ex.
I am now in a position I hate and disgusts me, you would think that it would be easy to just end thing with one but hey I am so much of a freaking nice guy.
I am now a liar and depending on how you look at it a cheat and it disgusts me. I will elaborate, I tell the New Girl and my Ex that I am not ready to jump in again because of (insert lies here) to buy time in making a decision or hoping one of them makes it for me. As much as I honestly try to avoid situations where sex is a possibility, I have failed a few things.
I have tried to make a decision by seeing who I like best but that has proved even my difficult.
~I believe I can see a significant change in her, changes that caused us to break up.
~She is like a “best-friend lover” being around her made me happy, she gets my jokes willing to get involved in whatever activity I embark on, I usually don’t care what people think but its nice not to know that you cant say do things and not be judged.
~She is like a partner in crime, takes care of me as much as I take care of her. She understands that I don’t have a constant flow of funds so tries to make our expenses even.
~She however can be a little immature/irresponsible and live in fantasies.
~She was very insecure in the past not sure of now.
~She is very mature and responsible.
~She is caring and helpful
~She makes me feel wanted (In a sensual way)
~I feel like I have to check myself with her, I cant really and truly be myself.
~I sometimes feel like I am only there to please her, give her attention.
~I feel replaceable, she actually lets me know with hints that I am.
~She is not accepting of my flaws as a person and insist I must change.
I ask myself this question as I type this “Why do I like this New Girl?”, I really can’t say. Is it because she is very attractive and sexual?. Am I just infatuated with her? When I think of her, I think sex. So why is it I feel more for her than my Ex.
New Girl usually says to me; “Your ex must have really loved you to this or that”. I think about that ask myself is that really true or is my Ex just more accepting? I just feel like a minion around New Girl. I know New Girl likes me a lot and truly.
I sometimes wonder and ask my Ex whether she felt/feels abused by me ( she says no).
Well currently New Girl and I are not talking she link for why “http://towch.wordpress.com/2014/07/01/should-i-go-after-her-is-it-worth-it/“. It is easy to say I am just in with the New Girl for the sex but the truth is we rarely have any sex at all.
Well this is my Dilemma. I am just tired of the lies, tired of stringing these beautiful women along.
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