Reblog: In Love
Lindsey discusses being alone – its negative stigma and the importance of being alone, at least occasionally in her blog post. Please enjoy!
It began at 13, where I met my first love. And since then I have loved, I have broken the hearts of others and I have had my heart completely shattered through unrequited love. I don’t know why, but Michael Bolton’s “I said I loved you but I lied” is playing in my head right now and it won’t stop. My mom loves Michael Bolton. These are really dissociative thoughts and my best friends, who happen to be in the field of psychology, are most definitely diagnosing me right now with some sort of personality disorder. Crazy is the new black, people!Through all of these relationships and experiences, I have learned something substantial. After every breakup, I found myself alone, having to reflect on myself and start over again. But the underlying question is: Why is being alone deemed negative by society? I have come across many people that feel the need to jump from relationship to relationship without pausing to inhale oxygen or sip a delicious watermelon martini that’s sitting on front of them. Do they even know who they really are or what they truly want? Have they ever allowed themselves to find a connection with their inner selves and discover inward love?
In my last post, I touched upon self-love and the necessity of loving yourself in order for people to love you. So why do people continually find themselves in unhappy relationships? It is because they haven’t taken the opportunity to attain inward love. After every breakup, we’re forced to evaluate ourselves; who we are and who we ought to be. In these moments of sheer despair, we can either crumble from the pain or rise triumphantly with a greater understanding of who we are as people. It is in moments of adversity where our strength is tested and where our characters are developed. And in these moments of aloneness, we can fully find ourselves.
Whether it’s through meditation, walks in the park, engaging in hobbies, philanthropic endeavors or spending time with animals, it is vital to have that time unaccompanied, on your own. More notably, it’s great to be in a relationship, but it’s essential to not feel compelled to always be in a relationship. Statistics regarding divorce rates in our country substantiate the claim that you may end up alone — and then what? If you don’t have a relationship with yourself, you have nothing.
Life is defined by how we cope and prevail in moments of adversity and not ones of ease. So learn to love yourself, appoint yourself as your own best friend. Once this is established, the world is your oyster and love, both inward and outward, will prevail.