Reblog: Is It Ever Okay to Be the Other Woman?
Here’s an interesting thought, is it ever okay to be the other woman? Take a look through this interesting post about this topic by Grace Cassidy.
Please enjoy and share your thoughts!
Now, I personally don’t condone cheating, but in my pursuit to re-watch all 94 episodes over the 6 famous seasons of Sex and the City, I’m inevitably reconsidering a lot of things about my life (predominantly my wardrobe), but mostly I’m just left wondering if my sex life is going to get any more interesting as I age (it probably won’t).
And while I don’t necessarily think it’s okay to cheat, I don’t think I quite know where my moral compass points when it comes to being the other woman.
Samantha Jones did this to me. She’s got that sultry voice and mystery about her, she’s always fucking somebody new, she has sex just because she wants to, and the thought of being in a committed relationship brings her gag reflex back more efficiently than, well, other activities that make you gag. She acts as practically the only voice of reason on Sex and the City – other than Miranda, at times – for Carrie, whose expectations for absolutely everything are higher than her Louboutins, and for Charlotte, who when asked what her fantasies were while she was lying naked next to her sexy new beau responded: “I’d love to own an art gallery….”
Samantha Jones has successfully made me rethink everything I thought I knew about what was right and wrong in sex and relationships. She just has a way of convincing people that there’s a way around absolutely everything because of her confidence and expertise. There’s something about a person that can pull off brow-skimming wispy bangs that just makes you believe everything that they say – so much so that she even makes cheating look okay.
Now, bear with me here. I don’t have this all figured out. But I really got to thinking, and I’m wondering if being the other woman really has got a worse reputation than it should.
When the woman dating the man you have an opportunity to hook up with is someone that you know personally, know well, and are friends with, of course I would say that you shouldn’t hook up with her boyfriend, if only to avoid the drama that you will inevitably involve yourself in by doing so – but for moral reasons, as well. But what if the woman is someone that you don’t know? What if she’s someone that you’ve never even met? What if he’s someone that you don’t really know that well at all, and you’re almost positive that you’ll never meet his girlfriend?
I think one reason we like to say that being the other woman is wrong is because we wouldn’t want our boyfriends to cheat on us (this all applies to being the other man, too, by the way – I’m just speaking from my own point of view). But when you really think about it, if a man intends to cheat on his girlfriend but doesn’t close the deal just because the other woman denies him after finding out that he’s in a committed relationship, isn’t the intent equally as bad as the actual act of cheating?
I mean, if I found out that someone I was dating almost hooked up with another woman but didn’t, I would most definitely still reevaluate our relationship and I would approach things the same way that I would if he had hooked up with her, because as far as I’m concerned he might as well have.
So what does closing the deal actually do when it comes to cheating?
Further, how does being the other woman make a woman morally in the wrong? Sure, we might fear that his girlfriend could come after us to give us a piece of our mind and we might get involved in something that we don’t want to be involved with, but the girlfriend shouldn’t be mad at you for hooking up with her boyfriend. She should be mad at her boyfriend for cheating on her.
So is being the other woman really all that bad? If someone wants to cheat, the intention to do so is just as bad as actually going through with the action – the only difference is that the intention was acted upon, so now there’s just more of a possibility of the significant other finding out. But does being in a situation where you might be the other woman mean you have a moral responsibility to deny hooking up with someone because he has a girlfriend?
I don’t know why people cheat. I guess a lot of it has to do with being unsatisfied in a relationship, being unsatisfied with your sex life, being unsatisfied with your some other aspect of your life – just all-around being unsatisfied. But if someone wants to hook up with someone who isn’t their significant other, and it ends up not being you, it’s bound to just be someone else.
xoJane recently covered a story about being “the other woman.” She even claimed that as the other woman, she “broke the woman code,” but she also ended up marrying the guy that cheated with her. This is obviously the exception – not the rule – to how things end up when someone cheats, but it really makes you wonder if people really have a moral obligation to deny someone because they’re dating someone else, when in reality the moral wrongdoing is in the hands of the cheater, not the other woman.
I guess I’m still left unsure of where I stand on the matter, so it’s probably not a very good idea to trust me on this subject. Then again I have two first names and I wear sweatpants regularly, so trusting me with anything is a risk.
You can visit the original blog post here!