Who Makes You Happy?

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Many times a person gets so consumed in a relationship that they lose their identity as a person and instead rely on their significant other to define them. This is dangerous not only for him/herself but also for the other person. The pressure being responsible for anyone’s happiness is very overwhelming. Often, because we rely on others to make us feel happy, we become disappointed when they don’t meet our needs. What I’m trying to say is you can’t jump into a relationship hoping that someone will make you happy when you can’t even do it for yourself.

Answer this: would you rather be with someone who brings good, happy vibes to a relationship or be with someone who is always sulking and complaining all the time? When making someone happy becomes a duty, you just don’t want to do it anymore. From what I’ve seen, people who can be content on their own are more capable of maintaining a healthy relationship than those who can’t. I’ve been in both cases where I was both the giver and also the receiver, and I can tell you for sure that if you don’t balance out the roles, the relationship will become exhausting, which will eventually lead to doom.

The bottom line is no one is going to say, “Yay! I love being with a miserable, downhearted person whom only I can make happy with my constant display of affection!”

So let’s try this: practice happiness on your own and make your happiness contagious.

1. Think optimistically. (Stop thinking about your regrets and failures. Empty those out, and refill your mind with a brighter, hopeful future. Your past has no power over your life anymore.)
2. Accept yourself (yes, even the flaws) for who you are. (There’s always someone who likes you for the way you are. Don’t be so hard on yourself and think about your good qualities.)
3. Spritz some of your favorite perfume around the house.
4. Smile. Sincerely.
5. Write down some short-term goals that are readily achievable and cross them out as you try them.
6. Make a hobby. Feel good about learning something new.
7. Put time aside for yourself. (to read, to write, to watch a movie, to do whatever you like to do)
8. Write down some things you’re thankful for. (This works! I promise.)
9. Forgive.
10. Compliment a total stranger and make his day.
11. Plan a trip. (Experts say that merely planning for a trip can make you happy.)
12. And perhaps really go on a vacation. (The memories will last longer than a shopping splurge.)

 

-Irasia621

 

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