Who Am I to Say, but…
After years of exploring the dating pool, I think now I kind of understand why elders tell young people to date a lot before getting married. Yeah, of course, you need to polish your list of standards, but more than that, so that when you finally meet “the one,” you’d appreciate his/her manners, understanding of your flaws, non-cheating habits, polite manners towards not just you but to everyone, maturity, common decency, and etc.
Sure, love at first sight and all the other cliché love notions are great, but after the chase and months of sucking each others face, you kind of grow bored of admiring how beautiful he is. Then you start realizing his annoying habit of chewing with his mouth open or his obnoxious rudeness towards waiters. Fights happen, and the relationship ends. I enjoyed these fast-paced relationships in my early 20’s, as they were both exhilarating and temporary. If he had a flaw I couldn’t overlook, I wasn’t sad or dreading the breakup; I was discreetly excited and hopeful for what my next relationship would bring. Love meant being loved, being admired, being cared for, being appreciated, and being apologized to. It didn’t mean loving someone unconditionally or ‘dun-dun-dun’ forever. However, now that marriage is in the near future, I realize that I can’t run away from relationships whenever I encounter a problem. Sometimes, I just need to suck it up and deal with the problems, which almost all the time are mine. And below is a short list was what I learned as the lover and the loved.
@ Despite all the fights (and by all, I mean the frivolous to the in-your-face kinda ones), s/he still wants to work it out.
@ When s/he does something wrong, s/he sincerely apologizes for it (and makes effort to not repeat the same mistake).
@ Someone who makes me a better person by encouraging and by being an example (because after a while, couples reflect each other).
@Someone who knows how to forgive and appreciate.
@ A selfish person who is lenient on one’s own mistakes/flaws/faults but not on those of others’.
@ Someone who doesn’t know how to say I’m sorry or thank you.
@ A liar. (because they’re usually pathological) Ooh, cheaters count, too!
@ Someone who clearly doesn’t put any effort into improving the relationship.
P.S. For all my readers, thank you for all the comments and inputs! I love reading them! 🙂